DO I NEED AN AGENT?

A question I’m often asked is ‘as an indie producer do I need an agent?’ It’s a question I ask myself. Especially after getting off the phone with mine.

Here’s the truth. I’ll make it snappy. ‘No. You don’t need an agent’.

So, this should be a short blog, shouldn’t it? We’ll it’s a bit more complicated than that… and I sometimes change my mind. So stick around.

In the UK when you’re pitching a tv show, you sit in the office of the person who says ‘yes’ or ‘no’. You stare at them, see the color of their money, then you walk out with a handshake and, if they like your show, a deal. There and then.

Many of those British kings of reality TV who now sit at the top of the Reality TV tree over here in the USA, operate in exactly the same way with US networks as they used to in London. And they still don’t have agents.

And they have nice cars - and have done ok. So, no, they didn’t need agents.

But, what if you’re an Indie producer, all alone in the world, with your foot on the bottom rungs of the ladder? Should you spend the time and effort to get yourself an agent?

This is where I can help out, I think, because I have an agent, he reps me both as a producer/director AND for my company.

First, it might be useful to know what my agent really DOES do. We have a team of two agents who rep us, and they arrange meetings for us, take the first pitch from us to roadtest how they sound, put pressure on networks to convert ‘maybes’ into ‘yeses!’, agree a basic framework for the deal, (then hands everything over to the lawyers… I’ll talk about lawyers next week).

What my agent DOESN’T do is: arrange meetings without being asked to, call any network they don’t already know, deal with international broadcasters, anything to do with strategy or long term goals, really try to sell anything (if they get more than three ‘no’s’ in a row the project is dead to them), ….I’m getting the idea that there are more things in the ‘no’ column. Are you getting that same feeling?

There’s and old joke that has a producer complaining to another producer: “my agent just called, told me I’m a loser who’d never get another meeting because I’m a worthless piece of crap and my shows are a total waste of his life”… the other guy replies “Your agent CALLED you?!”

This is not a bad example of the reality of this love-hate relationship.

You see, the thing that the agent ‘does’ without even lifting their finger (which is just how they like it) is they add value to your package - you’re pre-screened, if you like. You’re through the first gate. You’re ‘tested’.

Put yourself in the position of the network exec. Every time he goes out of his house he’s going to be besieged by people who want things from him. He’s going to bump into the daughters of friends of friends who ask if you’ll take a look at something. A guy in the elevator is going to pitch to you right there and then on your way up between the first and twentieth storey. Every time someone opens their mouths, you can bet they’re going to be a producer with an idea - and they’re going to expect you to be their ticket to a nice big house.

So, the last thing they want to do is work out which producers are real and which are going to ask him to buy them a house. Your agent will automatically do this for you - just by ‘being’ your agent.

But, dangerously, what getting an agent will do for you is to give you the VERY false impression that while you’re busy making your rent by shooting “Date My Dog” or a home-makeover show, your agent is out there flogging your shows, pounding down doors to get offers on your shows. That would be a VERY wrong impression.

From actors’ agents to the biggest tv network in town, if you’re not bringing in the big bucks THIS WEEK, they are in all likelihood not even THINKING about you. Let alone selling your shows for you.

And this is a tough lesson to learn the hard way. I’ve learned it. Call, meet, arrange your own contacts at networks, send them your shows directly, and call your agent when something good happens. Just the knowledge that you have an agent is often enough to get you through the door.

Another hard truth is that you’ve got to, absolutely HAVE to, get out of your mind the notion that your agent is some form of arbiter for what the industry is looking for. Your agent absolutely, positively IS NOT.

Nice suits? Probably. A buddy-boy-frathouse-banter and a pocket-full of Lakers tickets to hand out to clients? Highly likely. The chest-bash, man-hug? They learn that on day one in agent-school.

But, knowing what makes good TV? That’s why you’re on this side of the table - and they’re over there, with their over-familiar style and dislike of eye-contact.

This last year, we’ve put three shows into real-life, “here’s some cash” development with various big name networks. All three of these shows our agents hated. I mean - really hated. Our own belief, not to mention money, went in to proving them wrong, and by the time we screened our promo tape for them, and they knew we were right, they’d completely forgotten that they HATED those ideas just weeks before. In one pitch meeting with a network one of our agents even piped up that ‘of all their ideas this is the one I said they should run with, I’ve always LOVED this show’. Of course, in a pitch meeting I’d rather he lie than tell the truth… but, still.

Your agent DOES do a few things very well, he tells you when someone from out of town is going to come into town. He can send you the overnight ratings - which is very useful. He can arrange a meeting with someone he knows, and he can tell you what some network exec said at breakfast that morning about what they’re looking for.

If you’re looking for anything else - I mean ANYTHING else, then, you’re going to be very badly disappointed.

Agents do not make you successful. Agents do not sell you or your shows. Agents will not be the reason you finally sell a show. And finally, Agents - and this is extremely important - will always try to make you feel exactly the opposite.

They’ll try to make you feel like you owe them for all the work they’ve done for you, they’ll try to make you feel guilty about not sending out even more shows than you are, (as an explanation for why they haven’t sold any of your shows), and they’ll even attempt to make you feel bad for them that you’re screwing this all up so horrendously.

What we do is difficult enough, and there are enough time-wasting activities to block your path from selling shows, to unnecessarily add yet another. So, think carefully before embarking on the process of finding your agent.

If you’re a go-getter, who has GREAT shows, wonderful tapes, awesome hosts and you’re good at pitching your ideas - I’d say SELL your show first, direct to a network, jump into bed with a bigger production company - use whatever skill you have to get in the door, and then, if they like your show and want to make a deal, call a great, well known entertainment lawyer to negotiate it.

Then, one day, probably years up the road, when your show is kicking ass in the ratings, you’ll get a call from agents… a lot of agents. Like ex-girlfriends the night after you started dating a new girl… they’ll call. When you speak to them, if you can resist telling them to use their phone as an ad hoc endoscope, you’ll arrange to meet.

When you go to meet them you can ask them questions about what they’ll bring to the table, ask them exactly what they’ll DO for you. And make sure you are satisfied with their answers, make sure they understand you know what you’re talking about - and that you have expectations.

Because, above all, the secret to dealing with your agent - is to always remember this one key piece of information. They get paid out of money you’ve earned. They are literally taking money that simply would’t be earned if you weren’t so good at what you do. They’re taking this money to provide a service.

They work for you.

So, do you need an agent?

Ultimately, in a world dominated by fear, anything you can do to tell a network that you’re ‘one of them’, that ‘you’re a pro, who won’t piss their money up a wall’ is going to work for you.

So, while a big part of me is pained to say it, ‘yes’, if you want to be taken seriously, right out of the gate, you need an agent. There, I said it.

Ow.