IN SPACE NOBODY CAN HEAR YOUR PITCH

So, last week a Canadian ‘comrade-in-the-struggle’ dropped me a line asking how a truly indie-indie producer might go about getting their pitch into a network, and wanting some advice about what, as an Indie producer, is really important to consider when you are developing your idea into something that is ready to sell.

So, a week or so ago, a couple of young producers came into pitch to me. One was a super experienced producer, the other his editor friend who’d worked on some recognizable shows. They introduced themselves, they were very nice; sat down and then… then… they handed me a non disclosure agreement to sign before they’d speak.

Now, this is Hollywood, (wherever you are ‘is Hollywood’ if you’re selling movies or tv I’ve learned), so, yes, the chances are when you pitch your show to a unscrupulous multinational company they could literally pick you up and stick you in their mouths - slide your flesh and your brand new sparkly TV concept off your bones like they would a cocktail sausage off a stick, and spit out what they don’t want into the street. Then make your show.

That’s one way of looking at it.

Another way is that you can’t sell a show unless someone’s actually HEARD the idea. I’m this kind of guy.

However, don’t get me wrong - nobody wants to be ripped off. And I’ve been ripped off - several times - so, I’m not one of those people who goes along with the ‘it’s just a part of the business’ school of thinking. It sucks - hard. I certainly think horrible things should happen to those people, involving a good number of weevils, but the important thing to realize is that an idea is just that.

Everyone has ideas. What you have is YOU.

And unless your car shuts off in the middle of nowhere and your car is suddenly bathed in an otherworldly white light - nobody can take YOU away from you.

In my little company our feeling is and will remain - if the network wants to work with our idea, when that season is over - it’s curtains for the show. If the network wants to work with US, then it’s a job for life. Or at least the life of that network executive, (not long by all accounts).

So, how do you achieve this? How do you get a network to really WANT to work with YOU?

We decided a long time ago that the best way was to OWN something. Something UNIQUE. A book (costs money and time), a promo tape (I love the promo tape, my agent LOVES a promo tape, networks love the promo tape even more - but they cost time and money - still no guarantee they’ll buy your show, but it’ll demonstrate that you’re good at your job, and that you have a relationship with the characters and the ‘world’ - BIG plus). Maybe you’ll OWN a piece of talent, someone really cool you KNOW is going to be GREAT on TV - get a piece of paper write a one page contract - sign them up to you, exclusively for a ‘one year shopping period’, for nothing. Now you are the ONLY person a network can come to if they want to work with that awesome host you’ve found. Cool beans.

Another way is by getting into bed with someone bigger than you, someone who you know the network already wants to work with. I’m talking either a big name producer, a named ‘show runner’ or perhaps a recognizable Production Company (check out this sample list, or better still, the end logos of shows you love - then look them up on line). Now, you might need to do some or all of the above before you actually pick up the phone and book a meeting with a bigger company - but hooking up with someone bigger than you can be a very, very successful way of getting your awesome idea to TV screens.

We went this route ourselves just last autumn. We had a great idea, a great host - and a really good tape… (Actually, we didn’t HAVE the tape, we told them we did, then they asked if I could drop the tape off the next day… that was a long night).

Anyway, we’d had this show we really are in love with and we knew it is a big network show. And we were a small, relatively unknown company. We felt we could do a great pitch to the networks ourselves, (and I mean the major four), but we wanted this to be a home run, a slam dunk - a sure thing. Basically, any sporting analogy you can think of that translates to me drinking martinis on my private beach, getting a back-rub from the Laker Girls sometime soon. That’s what we wanted.

But, as a small company this means you’re going to give up some things.

You’re going to give up control, (or at least some of it), money, (yep, they’re going to take the fee from the budget you get from the network for producing the show, (or at least most of it), they’re going to stick their logo on the end (try to get yours up too), and they’re going to take all the money from the back end… (the contract won’t say that, but it’s what will happen, get used to the idea. They have teams of accountants ready to make you drink their accounting Cool-Aid too, so even YOU will believe that the international version being produced around the world in the Number one slot on network TV stations in prime-time around the world actually COSTS them money… so that’s why there’s nothing left to split 50/50).

But what you gain is possibly part of a successful TV show - on network. Your job here is to think seriously about your career. Your job here is to think about how this will look on your resume, (so next time you won’t NEED anyone bigger). Your job now is to drop trou. And smile - it’s good for you. Seriously, sometimes getting over yourself and letting someone else take over and run with your show is the absolute BEST idea for you.

So, when you know you have a great idea, you’ve gone out and sought something to OWN - now it’s time to decide whether you go out and meet a producer, join up with a bigger production company - or if you’re ready to go out and pitch on your own.

My last piece of advice - the best way to not get ripped off, to have networks desperate to work with you, and to stay attached to your show… do great work, don’t go out too early. And don’t stop going out with new ideas.

NEXT WEEK: DO I NEED AN AGENT? or: how I learned to stop worrying and love my douchbags.