DO I NEED AN AGENT?

A question I’m often asked is ‘as an indie producer do I need an agent?’ It’s a question I ask myself. Especially after getting off the phone with mine.

Here’s the truth. I’ll make it snappy. ‘No. You don’t need an agent’.

So, this should be a short blog, shouldn’t it? We’ll it’s a bit more complicated than that… and I sometimes change my mind. So stick around.

In the UK when you’re pitching a tv show, you sit in the office of the person who says ‘yes’ or ‘no’. You stare at them, see the color of their money, then you walk out with a handshake and, if they like your show, a deal. There and then.

Many of those British kings of reality TV who now sit at the top of the Reality TV tree over here in the USA, operate in exactly the same way with US networks as they used to in London. And they still don’t have agents.

And they have nice cars - and have done ok. So, no, they didn’t need agents.

But, what if you’re an Indie producer, all alone in the world, with your foot on the bottom rungs of the ladder? Should you spend the time and effort to get yourself an agent?

This is where I can help out, I think, because I have an agent, he reps me both as a producer/director AND for my company.

First, it might be useful to know what my agent really DOES do. We have a team of two agents who rep us, and they arrange meetings for us, take the first pitch from us to roadtest how they sound, put pressure on networks to convert ‘maybes’ into ‘yeses!’, agree a basic framework for the deal, (then hands everything over to the lawyers… I’ll talk about lawyers next week).

What my agent DOESN’T do is: arrange meetings without being asked to, call any network they don’t already know, deal with international broadcasters, anything to do with strategy or long term goals, really try to sell anything (if they get more than three ‘no’s’ in a row the project is dead to them), ….I’m getting the idea that there are more things in the ‘no’ column. Are you getting that same feeling?

There’s and old joke that has a producer complaining to another producer: “my agent just called, told me I’m a loser who’d never get another meeting because I’m a worthless piece of crap and my shows are a total waste of his life”… the other guy replies “Your agent CALLED you?!”

This is not a bad example of the reality of this love-hate relationship.

You see, the thing that the agent ‘does’ without even lifting their finger (which is just how they like it) is they add value to your package - you’re pre-screened, if you like. You’re through the first gate. You’re ‘tested’.

Put yourself in the position of the network exec. Every time he goes out of his house he’s going to be besieged by people who want things from him. He’s going to bump into the daughters of friends of friends who ask if you’ll take a look at something. A guy in the elevator is going to pitch to you right there and then on your way up between the first and twentieth storey. Every time someone opens their mouths, you can bet they’re going to be a producer with an idea - and they’re going to expect you to be their ticket to a nice big house.

So, the last thing they want to do is work out which producers are real and which are going to ask him to buy them a house. Your agent will automatically do this for you - just by ‘being’ your agent.

But, dangerously, what getting an agent will do for you is to give you the VERY false impression that while you’re busy making your rent by shooting “Date My Dog” or a home-makeover show, your agent is out there flogging your shows, pounding down doors to get offers on your shows. That would be a VERY wrong impression.

From actors’ agents to the biggest tv network in town, if you’re not bringing in the big bucks THIS WEEK, they are in all likelihood not even THINKING about you. Let alone selling your shows for you.

And this is a tough lesson to learn the hard way. I’ve learned it. Call, meet, arrange your own contacts at networks, send them your shows directly, and call your agent when something good happens. Just the knowledge that you have an agent is often enough to get you through the door.

Another hard truth is that you’ve got to, absolutely HAVE to, get out of your mind the notion that your agent is some form of arbiter for what the industry is looking for. Your agent absolutely, positively IS NOT.

Nice suits? Probably. A buddy-boy-frathouse-banter and a pocket-full of Lakers tickets to hand out to clients? Highly likely. The chest-bash, man-hug? They learn that on day one in agent-school.

But, knowing what makes good TV? That’s why you’re on this side of the table - and they’re over there, with their over-familiar style and dislike of eye-contact.

This last year, we’ve put three shows into real-life, “here’s some cash” development with various big name networks. All three of these shows our agents hated. I mean - really hated. Our own belief, not to mention money, went in to proving them wrong, and by the time we screened our promo tape for them, and they knew we were right, they’d completely forgotten that they HATED those ideas just weeks before. In one pitch meeting with a network one of our agents even piped up that ‘of all their ideas this is the one I said they should run with, I’ve always LOVED this show’. Of course, in a pitch meeting I’d rather he lie than tell the truth… but, still.

Your agent DOES do a few things very well, he tells you when someone from out of town is going to come into town. He can send you the overnight ratings - which is very useful. He can arrange a meeting with someone he knows, and he can tell you what some network exec said at breakfast that morning about what they’re looking for.

If you’re looking for anything else - I mean ANYTHING else, then, you’re going to be very badly disappointed.

Agents do not make you successful. Agents do not sell you or your shows. Agents will not be the reason you finally sell a show. And finally, Agents - and this is extremely important - will always try to make you feel exactly the opposite.

They’ll try to make you feel like you owe them for all the work they’ve done for you, they’ll try to make you feel guilty about not sending out even more shows than you are, (as an explanation for why they haven’t sold any of your shows), and they’ll even attempt to make you feel bad for them that you’re screwing this all up so horrendously.

What we do is difficult enough, and there are enough time-wasting activities to block your path from selling shows, to unnecessarily add yet another. So, think carefully before embarking on the process of finding your agent.

If you’re a go-getter, who has GREAT shows, wonderful tapes, awesome hosts and you’re good at pitching your ideas - I’d say SELL your show first, direct to a network, jump into bed with a bigger production company - use whatever skill you have to get in the door, and then, if they like your show and want to make a deal, call a great, well known entertainment lawyer to negotiate it.

Then, one day, probably years up the road, when your show is kicking ass in the ratings, you’ll get a call from agents… a lot of agents. Like ex-girlfriends the night after you started dating a new girl… they’ll call. When you speak to them, if you can resist telling them to use their phone as an ad hoc endoscope, you’ll arrange to meet.

When you go to meet them you can ask them questions about what they’ll bring to the table, ask them exactly what they’ll DO for you. And make sure you are satisfied with their answers, make sure they understand you know what you’re talking about - and that you have expectations.

Because, above all, the secret to dealing with your agent - is to always remember this one key piece of information. They get paid out of money you’ve earned. They are literally taking money that simply would’t be earned if you weren’t so good at what you do. They’re taking this money to provide a service.

They work for you.

So, do you need an agent?

Ultimately, in a world dominated by fear, anything you can do to tell a network that you’re ‘one of them’, that ‘you’re a pro, who won’t piss their money up a wall’ is going to work for you.

So, while a big part of me is pained to say it, ‘yes’, if you want to be taken seriously, right out of the gate, you need an agent. There, I said it.

Ow.

IN SPACE NOBODY CAN HEAR YOUR PITCH

So, last week a Canadian ‘comrade-in-the-struggle’ dropped me a line asking how a truly indie-indie producer might go about getting their pitch into a network, and wanting some advice about what, as an Indie producer, is really important to consider when you are developing your idea into something that is ready to sell.

So, a week or so ago, a couple of young producers came into pitch to me. One was a super experienced producer, the other his editor friend who’d worked on some recognizable shows. They introduced themselves, they were very nice; sat down and then… then… they handed me a non disclosure agreement to sign before they’d speak.

Now, this is Hollywood, (wherever you are ‘is Hollywood’ if you’re selling movies or tv I’ve learned), so, yes, the chances are when you pitch your show to a unscrupulous multinational company they could literally pick you up and stick you in their mouths - slide your flesh and your brand new sparkly TV concept off your bones like they would a cocktail sausage off a stick, and spit out what they don’t want into the street. Then make your show.

That’s one way of looking at it.

Another way is that you can’t sell a show unless someone’s actually HEARD the idea. I’m this kind of guy.

However, don’t get me wrong - nobody wants to be ripped off. And I’ve been ripped off - several times - so, I’m not one of those people who goes along with the ‘it’s just a part of the business’ school of thinking. It sucks - hard. I certainly think horrible things should happen to those people, involving a good number of weevils, but the important thing to realize is that an idea is just that.

Everyone has ideas. What you have is YOU.

And unless your car shuts off in the middle of nowhere and your car is suddenly bathed in an otherworldly white light - nobody can take YOU away from you.

In my little company our feeling is and will remain - if the network wants to work with our idea, when that season is over - it’s curtains for the show. If the network wants to work with US, then it’s a job for life. Or at least the life of that network executive, (not long by all accounts).

So, how do you achieve this? How do you get a network to really WANT to work with YOU?

We decided a long time ago that the best way was to OWN something. Something UNIQUE. A book (costs money and time), a promo tape (I love the promo tape, my agent LOVES a promo tape, networks love the promo tape even more - but they cost time and money - still no guarantee they’ll buy your show, but it’ll demonstrate that you’re good at your job, and that you have a relationship with the characters and the ‘world’ - BIG plus). Maybe you’ll OWN a piece of talent, someone really cool you KNOW is going to be GREAT on TV - get a piece of paper write a one page contract - sign them up to you, exclusively for a ‘one year shopping period’, for nothing. Now you are the ONLY person a network can come to if they want to work with that awesome host you’ve found. Cool beans.

Another way is by getting into bed with someone bigger than you, someone who you know the network already wants to work with. I’m talking either a big name producer, a named ‘show runner’ or perhaps a recognizable Production Company (check out this sample list, or better still, the end logos of shows you love - then look them up on line). Now, you might need to do some or all of the above before you actually pick up the phone and book a meeting with a bigger company - but hooking up with someone bigger than you can be a very, very successful way of getting your awesome idea to TV screens.

We went this route ourselves just last autumn. We had a great idea, a great host - and a really good tape… (Actually, we didn’t HAVE the tape, we told them we did, then they asked if I could drop the tape off the next day… that was a long night).

Anyway, we’d had this show we really are in love with and we knew it is a big network show. And we were a small, relatively unknown company. We felt we could do a great pitch to the networks ourselves, (and I mean the major four), but we wanted this to be a home run, a slam dunk - a sure thing. Basically, any sporting analogy you can think of that translates to me drinking martinis on my private beach, getting a back-rub from the Laker Girls sometime soon. That’s what we wanted.

But, as a small company this means you’re going to give up some things.

You’re going to give up control, (or at least some of it), money, (yep, they’re going to take the fee from the budget you get from the network for producing the show, (or at least most of it), they’re going to stick their logo on the end (try to get yours up too), and they’re going to take all the money from the back end… (the contract won’t say that, but it’s what will happen, get used to the idea. They have teams of accountants ready to make you drink their accounting Cool-Aid too, so even YOU will believe that the international version being produced around the world in the Number one slot on network TV stations in prime-time around the world actually COSTS them money… so that’s why there’s nothing left to split 50/50).

But what you gain is possibly part of a successful TV show - on network. Your job here is to think seriously about your career. Your job here is to think about how this will look on your resume, (so next time you won’t NEED anyone bigger). Your job now is to drop trou. And smile - it’s good for you. Seriously, sometimes getting over yourself and letting someone else take over and run with your show is the absolute BEST idea for you.

So, when you know you have a great idea, you’ve gone out and sought something to OWN - now it’s time to decide whether you go out and meet a producer, join up with a bigger production company - or if you’re ready to go out and pitch on your own.

My last piece of advice - the best way to not get ripped off, to have networks desperate to work with you, and to stay attached to your show… do great work, don’t go out too early. And don’t stop going out with new ideas.

NEXT WEEK: DO I NEED AN AGENT? or: how I learned to stop worrying and love my douchbags.