week from hell….

…well whaddya expect? This is the big move week and, true to form, the motherload of work just keeps pouring in and will do until the moment we say, “well, actually, let’s put off this L.A. malarky for a while seeing as things are just so great here now….despite the impending recession…”, at which juncture the sands of time will all but dry up forever and like some spaghetti western, the only sign of anything moving would be the happy skip of a tumbleweed gaily chuckling as it zips past my cracked lips, as if to say  ”go on, book another holiday or, better still, a stupid little adventure like last time.”  I know, I know I’m a cynical old git. This is a way of looking at life that I have worked hard on perfecting for many years. I have done my utmost to avoid positive thought along with optimistic desire, but without the added futility of bitter hatred, for a few decades now and found it most gratifying. My secret mentor, Robert McKee insists that to be a good writer you must have a cynical view of life and I agree with that with every fiber of my miserable self. Optimistic jollity just sets you up for big disappointment, especially in this game where, as Neilly (my pet name for that old grunge-meister, Neil Young) puts it so well, disappointment lurks.Don’t get me wrong fellow filmsters. I am quite a nice chap really and hold a fairly wholesome view of life, the universe and everything. It’s just that I don’t go with that positive vibe thing until it actually happens….Now, this could be the perfect experiment we are embarking on here; one of the many reasons I love L.A. and CA. is the seeming abundance of positive ‘vibe’ that does seem to permeate all corners of that huge desert. This, it has to be said, is what drew me to it in the first place; a relentless drive coupled with unbridled belief in oneself that, although occasionally unattractive in some (English reserve), can be equally beguiling in others as well as entirely infectious. There is nothing I value more in my work and in everybody that I meet be it in the workplace or at home or socially, than passion. And that is what Los Angelino’s seem to thrive on and I feed off it too. However, that slice of cynicism keeps the wolves from wearing me down too much so that when I lose that job to Joe Shmoe, I can grumpily put it down to “their loss” rather than the discarded shards of a splintered dream……I digress……I’ve finished my dreary but socially fun ad. for bog-paper and scored a delightful little ident for a comedy show for BBC 2. I have to design a fantastic chair which starts life as a 60’s/70’s dentist chair which I bought today on e-bay and is to shortly get collected from Newcastle, I think about 300 miles north of where I’m presently sitting typing this. From whence my modelmaker and myself will embark on two weeks of scavenging, sticking and general manipulation to hopefully arrive at something “Brazil-like” with a touch of MIB and I-Robot thrown in……..here is a “before” pic…….The 20 second ident will be set in this amazing location that I saw today for the first time, a very old, dilapidated theatre in Alexander Palace (look it up!) just a spit from where I am still sat typing this…..The other bit of possible employment that is designed to completely fuck up our move to sunny L.A. (despite the fact that all our earthly belongings are on their merry way to join some Atlantic crossing as I write this!) is a possible feature about the very unfortunate last days of Jean Charles Menendez, the Brazilian geezer who was mistakenly killed about 20 times on a subway train in London for resembling an Islamic terrorist bomber…..very controversial and truly fascinating….. Stephen Frears is exec. producing so what can I say…..fingers crossed……..I’ll keep you posted.

my sexy underpants have a life of their own

…of course you will have to dig deep to find the relevance here, but, in the tiny machinations of my (still) stressed out brain there lurks a tidy little reference to the above.One of my favourite things about the States has to be Macy’s and their amazing sales tucked away in the air-cooled corners of this vast emporia. Every time I spot a new one in some far-flung suburb of the huge metropolis that is L.A., my heart starts singing at the thought of more sexy underpants at knock-down prices. There. That should please R.J. no end.

Now, to more mundane matters. Still no sign of a nice house in MB, but then I’m still in London with my family, still working on this lousy toilet-paper ad., but, thankfully working with some lovely people amid odd spurts of glorious summer sun, and making a bob or two to boot.

I must say, I am enjoying this blog-malarky more and more as the weeks go by. First off, it’s certainly proving to be quite therapeutic and secondly, the kind responses I’m receiving from other bloggers as well as complete strangers, is both supportive and generally, NICE. Which is more than I can say for that horrible little nonce, Jim who was obviously on the look out for pornography when he happened upon Avery’s (very entertaining) blog and saw fit to put one finger to keyboard in his futile attempts at a savaging of her efforts. Anyway, perhaps he’ll have more luck having a go at my blog now that my title has more relevance to his sad little life.

Things seem pretty slow here still, especially in the commercial world. It’s always interesting seeing the old faces when you start off your location recces for the coming shoot days. Everyone has a story or two to tell about how hard it is out there, how this one’s given it up to decorate houses or become a domestic sparky or that one’s emigrated to such and such or the really annoying one who hasn’t stopped!…..Wish it was me syndrome….. Not a great deal to report since last week….the SAG business is still looming and filling me with dread.I see Clint Eastwood may be directing a film in South Africa (my other stomping ground over the years) about Nelson Mandela. I remember hearing stories about Clint cruising the streets of Cape Town looking for locations way back….it must be 10 or so years ago…..I wonder if it can be the same project?

My IMDB membership seems worthwhile, if only to keep abreast of things generally. Hopefully I may even get my investment back! My mate, the incredibly talented Nathan Crowley, has just wrapped his feature with the notorious and gifted, Michael Mann just in time to soak up some of the wonderful things being said about his beautifully (I hear, and expect no less) designed “Dark Knight”. I’ve seen clips and it just looks amazing. I have a lot to thank Nathan for actually. Funnily enough, despite the fact that he was just a nipper when I was scrabbling up that ladder (things haven’t changed that much!), it was he who passed on a film in Dublin and then put my name forward. The next five months spent in Ireland were among the happiest of my working life. I’ve never really looked back feature-wise and despite the necessary forays back and forth into t.v, commercials, promos etc., my real fulfilment lies in film and good old story telling.

I’d better get this off I suppose…my missus has been offered three commercials here in London this afternoon…..well it goes without saying really…we’ve booked our airline tickets for LA……!!!!!!

stress city…..

about ten minutes before I put foot in the door of my lovely home in Highgate, my wife slipped a disc and I found myself cooking, cleaning, washing and delivering children here there and everywhere on four hours sleep a night after 16 hours of fitful travel from Redondo Beach the day before….or was it the day after? I no longer cared. Luckily, friends and family have rallied ’round wonderfully and I was able to fit in a recce (transl: location scout) for the toilet paper ad. in South London and Ealing for James Howarth at Another Film co., one of the few London production companies I am told that makes every effort to keep production in the UK wherever it possibly can. Truth is….I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before…..it’s just too expensive to shoot here these days. Whereas I used to spend a few weeks a year at least in the London studios, for instance, I cannot honestly remember the last time I was in one! Hence the move to Hollywood.Now that’s causing a bit of a headache what with the recession taking hold and the looming possibility of a SAG strike. We could up sticks and do the move…….all set, by the way: August 15th!!……..and find ourselves potless and without the means to get back to Blighty! MAROONED! There are a few things floating around in LA, job-wise, but who the hell knows what’s going to happen over the coming weeks. I think, after much prevarication, protracted mathematics and slapping of table-tops, we have decided to do the do and risk everything for the future of the Tanner clan. Otherwise..we move to the country and I take up needlework or something.Last week I was busy looking at houses in M. Beach and visiting our favourite school and meeting the principal when suddenly it all fell apart and I have to start again in a couple of weeks time. These are, without doubt, the most stressful times I have ever encountered. If I survive this intact, I feel I can do just about anything! I remember meeting a ‘Hollywood producer’ - my first - in Johannesburg in 1983 and being quite in awe of this flash looking guy in the sharp suit. Left alone for a couple of minutes, I asked him what it was like and how did one succeed in Hollywood….” You’ve got to be prepared to sweat blood” he said. My naive eyes goggled at him with ever increasing respect. From that moment on I decided there was no fucking way I was going to seep bodily fluids on my expensive suit for no-one, no way…..     I’d just become a designer instead.Now I think I know exactly what he was talking about! 

Deja vu

So I’ve been proved right about the work flooding in as soon as I buy a plane ticket. Having arrived in LA one week ago I now have to turn tail and hoof it back to London for a two week commercial and conveniently help with the packing up of the house. What usually happens now…….let’s hope I’m on a run here……….is that jobs start queueing up and overlapping and sometimes you make it fit and otherwise feel great that people are at least thinking about you.

Suddenly, things are getting very busy what with housing, schools, packing up and moving and all the related costs and stress. Consequently, I have very lttle to report in the production design department. Of course the film series at Cine expo last week was good fun and a great excuse to watch some very cool films; 13 shorts and three features from all over the world. Australia won the student short and deservedly in my opinion; both innovative and highly original….Tatterson. Broke Sky, an American effort which proved to be both entertaining and intelligent story - telling won the feature category. Parachute won out of the Independent shorts, but I preferred Bloom because I’m a sucker for a weird love story.

(www.cinegearexpo.com/filmseries/finalists08.html) Met with the lovely Michelle and the shiny but gracious Tye, both from Dattner Dispoto, my lovely, lovely (I love you), agents……and the whole film series thing put together by the indefatigable Kimberly. The actual Expo was chokka with D.P’s, grips and gaffers and not a poncey art dept. bod to be seen anywhere…except in the guise of myself….. Which is of course understandable as most of what you see is aimed at those departments. However, wonderful lighting pads from Rosco, a great demonstration of the new motion control outfit from the UK  www.mrmoco.com ….nice and small compared to the vast dinosaurs that used to whirr away for what seemed like days at a time….. and a few amazing new car rigs and architectural lighting possibilities, made this part of my two day roasting in the 90’s on the backlot of Universal, well worthwhile.

Another short (and late!) one this week…….sorry……..but hopefully, networking tales to tell over the coming weeks.I have managed to collar an extremely nice Exec. Producer from a large studio who may be able to point me in the right direction, but all that has to wait until I get back from London, mid-July. All this to-ing and fro-ing isn’t actually helping my career at all, it’s just keeping us fed. Pretty soon I guess the UK will dry up completely or work here will be soooo plentiful that I’ll be turning them all down in droves… Meanwhile, here are some pretty pictures that have no relevance at all to the above except that they have been a part of my portfolio over the years….not showing off, just giving you an idea of what it is we art dept. types do! 

we’re off……

well we’ve been on the starting blocks for over a year now for our final push to Los Angeles. The house in London is finally rented out at last and the managing director of some big finance bank and his wife move in July 18th. I fly out for the LA expo on Tuesday not knowing for sure what the future holds at all. We are all extremely anxious and excited about our new adventure and the two boys (six and nine) can’t wait to hit the beach having tried it out last Summer and loved every minute of it.

In some ways it seems like a crazy time to move what with the recession and everything hitting hard and still the possibility of the actors strike, but work here in UK is still practically non-existant in the commercial and feature market and all that there is is quickly moved out to Eastern Europe for half the price. More and more they are using the excellent - and much cheaper - local crews who are all well up to speed now, especially in Prague where I used to work at least two or three times a year for the past ten, but alas no more. South Africa, especially Cape Town, is another favourite due to the exchange rate and again a place I would do work on many occassions but even though I’ve heard some pretty awful stories of art department folly over there, the UK productions still insist on leaving us at home.

So, everybody thinks we’re quite mad for doing the LA move…especially with no direct offers of work so far!! But hey, that’s the nature of this mad business….everything can change on a sixpence….one minute you’re cooking up last weeks leftovers, and the next you’ve got steak and wine and you’re toasting your good fortune and finding it hard to remember why it isn’t always like this. I’m really hoping that next weeks blog will be closer to that champagne moment than this weeks. We are in a bit of turmoil here in Blighty so I can’t pretend to be on best form. My missus has just finished a nice little run of work (also film designer) whilst I’ve been playing (huh!) at Dad at home, which every Dad knows is precisely the reason we go out to work in the first place…..childcare has got to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. Rewarding, of course and ten times over, but Jesus……

Anyway, as I say, next weeks blog ought to be full of all sorts and I apologise for the plodding nature of this one, but I’m sure you’ll understand……..I’ll keep you posted.

Counting the days….

Though the lack of money coming in can be a problem when times are lean, it’s one of the perks of the job being able to spend so much time with my children. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always coincide with their school breaks and many a holiday has been cancelled at the last minute due to work coming in. In fact, go ahead and book that trip if you need the work…….almost guaranteed to come flooding through the door, especially if you’ve spent a few bob.

I’m currently designing futuristic sets for a Russian producer/director team, totally electronically as they can’t afford to ship me over to Moscow to supervise the job. Never done it quite like this before, that is; entirely by e-mail. It started off with getting commissioned to write a treatment for a music video and then it was “can you design it too?”

I quite like that I don’t have to go out to Moscow because of all the horror stories you hear about trying to get sets built out there, but the more adventurous (stupid) side of me kind of regrets not seeing it through. Anyway, the weird thing is I got paid and it’s looking good for the next instalment as well…..I really did expect a disappearing act but it seems that their wonga’s as good as the next man’s.

I’m due in LA very soon for the Cine expo and the film festival that runs along side, where I am doing some judging. I once judged the BAFTA’s (TV production design) and I can assure you it feels similar to doing Jury duty. That is, I feel a huge amount of responsibility in getting it right as people have invested a lot of their time, energy and passion into something that you are going to consequently love or trash.

I’m really looking forward to three days at Universal studios (where it’s all happening) just to get to canoodle with some like-minded folk and take a look at all the new gear on offer, as well, of course, as watching some interesting (I hope) film work. I missed out on a pilot for a new HBO series last week because I was here (London) and not there (LA) which made me realise that I need to sort out the travel arrangements pronto.

We are still trying to rent our house in London which will then find us winging it to LA, hopefully before the UK government decide to add a bunch of ‘green’ taxes to our airfares. The only thing green about these is that they are making me feel quite sick. None of the extra tax will go to offsetting anything other than Gordon Brown’s (who’s he??) messy calculations. The sooner I can get myself and my family off this rapidly sinking ship the better….I’ll keep you posted.

Introducing The Production Desginer…

Hi…….

I’m going to start this by explaining a few home truths about myself and this wonderful industry which has both kept me alive for the past 30 years and done its level best to try and kill me at the same time……I look upon it as a living, breathing entity which probably isn’t healthy at all. I both love it, and I hate it, but when all is said and done, it sure as hell beats working for a living.

I was drawn to the industry through unemployment and a very nice man called Kevin Connor who dragged me off the streets and over to Pinewood studios where he was directing one of the “Time forgot….” films. For the first three months I did my best to find other work in other industries until one day I woke up to the fact that what I was doing was just brilliant. Suddenly,  (I was quite stupid), I realised that I had what most people would give their right arm for (very, very stupid….NOTE: you probably will need your right arm, especially if, like me, you draw with it), so I soon settled down and after another few months got fired anyway.

The work had suddenly dried up and that was my first introduction to what the industry is really all about: Survival.

The rest is quite boring really. What really matters is that, surprisingly, I’m still here and still loving/hating every minute of it.

Not long ago I woke up one morning and realised (I can still be pretty stupid at times) that I was getting on in years and that I still hadn’t really got close to making my ‘big movie’ and that the UK probably wasn’t going to do it for me. We make about 20 films in a good year here in the UK and about 5 otherwise. Of those, very few actually make it to the theatres and what with there being about 5000 production designers slutting around Soho most days, my chances have always been a bit slim. Up until now I was happy to just be making a living but good sense was never my strong point so, I applied for and got a US work visa and have been ‘commuting’ to LA with a view to a more permanent move very soon, for over a year and loving every goddam minute of it. Yes, I intend to ‘make it big’ in LA and also intend to document it here for you all to see/gloat/chuckle/ridicule. Life’s too short not to give it a go and my kids,  two boys of 9 and 6 , have given me the thumbs up (loads of bribery) as has my long suffering and gorgeous wife (loads and loads of nice things).

We will be moving to Manhattan Beach (I know, I know $$$$) or Mar Vista or Topanga (well I’m still very confused!) when we eventually…hopefully….rent out our house here in Highgate, which is what we’re trying to do whilst juggling work from Russia, London and possibly Prague via Hollywood as well as all the other circus tricks associated with modern family life.

As well as my design work, I am doing more and more writing and have presently found myself being paid for the privilege! This is thrilling as I am also teaching design at the LFS which, because it has to be so abbreviated to fit the course work, I find, tends to lean more and more toward the servicing of a GOOD script, and indeed, how we as designers can help in our titivations given the opportunity by the directors/writers/producers in the first place! This is something I am presently driven by in truckloads and have successfully articulated more and more with every new project. But, one has to tread carefully…..more of that another time.

Anyway, the world just seems to be getting smaller and smaller and I find myself gathering work from all corners of the globe these days. I expect that the present crisis in the oil prices may slow that down a bit before long…..we’ll see. Meanwhile I look forward to including you fellow industry bloggers (or not) in my future mission, should you choose to…..tara for now.

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