t.v., commercials and film;production design; a retrospective of cinema in the late 2000’s……

removed

historic times

Well it has to be said these are amazing times for America and subsequently, I’m sure, the rest of the world. We, my family and I, couldn’t have chosen a more exciting time to decide to come and live here, but having said that of course economically, timing could have been better on the one hand and on the other, it’s pretty damn bad everywhere unless you happen to live in Finland. Why Finland….? Nothing to do with economics of which I know little, it just sounds to me like a forgotten part of the planet that’s not only cold and white, but just doesn’t really show up much on the world stage. Except when your agent sends you a script set in Finland during the rule of the Romanoffs about some geyser of whom I have never heard of, Mannerheim. Suddenly, that part of the world looks more interesting and certainly, after reading this epic of a Dr. Zhivago - type thing, my radar is on full alert and my Google finger hovering nicely. The whole story wraps up nicely around a time and a place like no other. A production designers dream. I have read no less than three scripts this past two weeks and certainly this beats them all. Scripts can be soooooo ploddingly boring at the best of times. The imagination of the reader has to define most of the story as you are dealing with a visual medium, not a novel. A novel will lead you through the nuances of a good story whereas the grey matter is relied upon heavily to steer one through the demanding pages of a script. Which is why I firstly admire people like ‘the script reader’ for being apparently able to sift through the multiple piles of drivel sorting for those diamonds that may or may not exist, and secondly why I fear that those people responsible for green lighting this stuff have any clue at all when it comes down to it. How many diamonds are being cast over….? how many shit scripts are being made….(eg. ‘funny games’…..what the fuck….?????)When I first got hold of Saving Private Ryan I was bored rigid. Jeez, what a load of old cod…..who gives a flying toss about some geyser stuck in the mud of northern France being fought over by a bunch of whiney Americans led by Forrest Gump? Well, actually, about ten frigging million or so it turns out. That’s because I had little less than a clue how to ‘read’ these things but by the time I got hold of Waking Ned, I had learned a whole lot more. Production design is about scripts, storytelling and humanity… It is also about a whole lot of other things which is why it’s so damned interesting.   Anyway, three recent scripts and two let downs later, I’m stuck with a script I like but I don’t know why. Is it because, bottom line, I have to feed the kids? I don’t after all care what your script smells like, if you’re going to pay the bucks, I will LOVE it and do the best damned job no matter how bad it is. And we will sift relentlessly through the sludge in the hope of finding some gem of a storyline or an emotional treat that will take it out of the realms of stupidity and into the realm of ’indi’ or some such? Hell, lets get one thing straight here….no matter how crap your script is, as a production designer in need or otherwise of paid work, I am never going to tell you the truth about your long-agonised-over-missive-work-of-art. No siree….careful what you say to those on the way up because…blah, blah blah on the way down etc etc…..(I’ve been on the up for 30 years…there is no down, there can’t be.) And if you DO intend to pay me handsomely then your script is the best goddamned thing since the last goddamned thing. But whatever my intentions, and when we have agreed the basis upon which I will do my very best to make your film look great, then that is what you will get if I have to sweat blood to achieve it unless of course you turn out to be a prick which is a whole other thing altogether….! Then, occasionally, thank the baby J, every once or thrice in a life time, along comes an Awaydays or similar lovely little number being developed, nurtured, lovingly whittled and eventually green-lit by those aforementioned twats who still may not have much of a clue but have been suitably harangued into acceptance of the indisputable fact that you cannot possibly pass up on this little beauty guv’nor……..and that is what it may turn out to be so long as all the miriad of other ingredients that go into making a masterpiece fall eventually into place. These, and other figments we will discuss in future episodes. Meanwhile, this is late as usual.

Awaydays

It’s so gratifying to see a film that you worked on (put heart and soul into, spent many long hours, day and night away from family and friends) NOT go straight to DVD, and, if the reviews coming out of the London Film Festival are anything to go by, Awaydays may just have the legs to carry itself a little bit further. Needless to say, I am very proud of my Liverpudlian effort although I haven’t yet seen it myself! Again, I think I may have been proved correct with reference to my theory (come on, keep up!) that those projects where the effort of every cast and crew member is supplemented by some extraordinary good feeling and all round faith in whatever it is, will eventually come out in the wash and show in the final telling. Let’s see. All those projects that have been spoiled in one way or another through the production process….believe me there are way too many ways to achieve this…..have mostly turned out to be flawed in the final cut. Here’s a link…   http://www.bfi.org.uk/lff/awaydays and here’s a pic…        

neglect is no excuse for bad manners……

I have neglected my blog and feel the worse for it I can assure you. Ralph Lauren and his merry band of men have had me running around in ever tighter circles for far too long now and the light is still a mere pin prick away. This has little to do with the film industry but then, if you’ve followed my missives up to now, you will gather the connection without too much trouble. I would much to prefer to talk about other stuff that frankly, crams every other minute of my day as it often seems more relevant. The industry has always (to my spouse’s consternation and bewilderment) been central to my existence and I’m sure this is common to other bloggers. The art is in striking the balance. There is a fine line between feeding the family and feeding your own ambition and ego. After my first son came along, this suddenly dawned on me and I sincerely wish it would dawn on others BEFORE they embark on family life. There is little point, in my mind, in having children if you can’t spend reasonable time with them. Unfortunately I have to travel pretty well constantly in my game, but those long (scary) quiet times are well spent totally engrossed in the far more energetic and tiring pursuit of kid-dom. This new American regime we are experiencing ( ie. early school starts and earlier home times) encompasses a whole new assortment of juggling skills, especially as my missus is still In Croatia finishing off a huge Kohler commercial for Therapy films. Speaking of which, her experience with the art dept. there has not been quite as wonderful as mine was several years ago. I can see why too. It reminds me of my first experences shooting in Prague in the early nineties. There was no doubting the breadth of experience of the personnel working the industry there, especially under the umbrella of the brilliant Stillking films. When it came to working with period or fantasy, the resources of modelmakers, poly-sculptors and various other craftsmen were, and still are, second to none. Nevertheless, throw in a high end, high tech, high finish, modern day or futuristic piece requiring very modern props and dressings and the whole process started to fall gently but surely, apart. The same thing is happening in Croatia. Unless you have the bucks or resources to ship em in, you ain’t got a hope. I clearly remember racing around Prague with an irate taxi-driver and a yellow pages, a fist full of Crowns and an unlimited budget searching desperately for enough shiny props to do justice to my wonderfully built state of the art bathroom set, whilst the grumpy old prop men scratched their chins, swigged back their breakfast schnapps (substitute) and declared the English art director a wanker and his mission hopeless. I somehow managed but I feel for my wife who has also experienced the Prague knock back but is now going through it all over again in another far flung former eastern block country. Needless to say, Prague no longer has that problem. Along with some amazing restaurants, shops and boutique hotels, the few of us who still travel there to work have pretty much all we can ask for in every department.I hope this splurge makes up for my recent neglect. 

shameless

it is late and I am exhausted. The last few weeks have been magnificent and equally debilitating. I have been fortunate enough to be working with David Turnley, Pullitzer prize winning photo-journalist, on a commercial based in and around L.A. which he was directing out of Furlined. Jeff Cronenweth (Fight Club) D.P’d and Scott Craig put the whole thing together. I look forward to seeing the end result as I feel D.T got some amazing performances from the cast, besides which I have to be proved right on my personal belief that a film stands or falls on the various energies determined by the crew, whatever the size or manner of the project. That is to say that films, t.v, commercials or promos that I have been attached to where the vibe on and off set has been the most enjoyable; where everyone is in tune with each other, with the script and with the environment, these are the projects that show up the best as the finished article. ‘Waking Ned’ which we prepped at Shepperton studios, England then shot in the Isle of Man under the wonderful direction of the amazing Kirk Jones, was one such example. Even with an amazing script there is no guarantee that you are going to get an amazing end product, so it is imperative that the director pulls everybody together to share in his enthusiasm and passion for the project. Kirk did this memorably. In fact he even called a meeting early upon our arrival in the Isle of Man, of all the residents of Cregneash, the ancient village we took over for some 10 weeks, to explain to them in detail what we, and the story, were about. This went down very well with cast, crew and vilagers alike and set the tone for the whole process. Consequently, I am certain that the extraordinary passion we all shared on that picture is palpable throughout. Likewise, I am sure the passion we all shared on the commercial will make it just that little bit special. Let’s wait and see. I have neglected my blog of late for which I apologise, but the several very different set of circumstances that have prompted my wife to suggest I take up yoga or meditation to alleviate the various strains on my mind and body, have almost become more than mere mortal should take. Needless to say, life here in L.A is nevertheless proving to be more than exciting and the subtle aroma of possibility constantly arouses my senses to a point where every day is anticipated with baited breath….! Unfortunately, I am far too exhausted to tell you about it. But I’ll try. Next up is a completely new venture for me and one I am eager to pursue. Some bright spark looking to re-create a certain paint finish on an old garage in Melrose avenue, currently being converted into the next Ralph Lauren Polo outlet in Hollywood, decide to take a look at one of my past films and as a consequence I am now designing the exterior of said building together with the wonderful vision of Dikayl who seems to be some sort of product designer or some such for PRL. This is a completely new string to my bow and, frankly, something that only happens to us mere mortals here in Hollywood, just like they said it would when I was just a spit of a lad sweeping the floors at Pinewood. Speaking of which, I met my new friend Barry Isaacson and his lovely family last Sunday down at the beach for some good old ex-pat R&R only to discover that we were both at Pinewood at the same time….1978/80 for gods sake!!!! He, as a runner or some such on the first Superman film, and myself working as a trainee Matte artist with the legendary Cliff Culley and subsequently as a trainee model maker with the even more legendary, Ray Harryhausen! Anyway, I’m hoping to get Barry….now a very successful film producer….interested in my District 6 project which has been on the drawing boards for over 5 years now and every day closer to becoming the masterpiece in my head. I know this will eventually make it to the big screen as I am now in Hollywood and this is where dreams do in fact come true…if you put in the hard graft that is. Living the dream…….. 

more adventures in lala land…old cock

I’m a bit lost for words this week, as well as being fashionably late with my blog. You may, however, be able to decipher my mood from my punctuation. When I am lacking in the literary department, you will often find me on the second floor, messing with my paragraphs, commas and full-stops…..periods to some of you, but I don’t see the relevance of that word when it comes to small dots that denote the end of a sentence, I really don’t. Periods were, and are of course, moments that occur on a monthly basis when the male of the species become reviled more so than usual by the female of the species and are unwittingly subjected to mostly, in my humble experience, vitriolic explosions of bile designed to shrink a mans sack at 20 paces. The female feels pretty shit too I’m told. Anyway, it’s my time of the month too, which is a coincidence, and to celebrate I’m going to have a virtual moan so as to make someone reading this feel a bit better about themselves. I cannot moan about the state of the industry because I have little to no idea what that might be right now. The reason for that is that I, as my two regular readers will tell you, have been diverted from the path of all that is Hollywood, to the more urgent task of keeping body and soul together trying to secure roof over head, vehicular mode of transport and self out of lunatic ward. So far, I have achieved two out of three. So, I can nevertheless report with not just a small amount of satisfaction, that I have still manged to fit in a couple of very productive meetings, both feature and commercial which may or may not bear fruit but on their own merits, in their own tiny little meaningless entities as ‘meetings’ go, they wholly succeeded in making me feel good about the world and, indeed, optimistic for the future. Bring it on, I shouted. Get me the meeting and I’ll get me the job, I intoned. Shortly after this is when I got arrested and, well, here I am.  I read a thing the other day that stayed with me for a while and it still stands up to argument I feel. I can’t remember who it was who came up with it but I remember admiring his arrogance in a determined statement that seemed to justify our place on the planet….’ I was lying in my hammock one clear night of late and I remember looking up at the carpet of stars that filled the night sky, and I thought to myself, ‘how insignificant they all seem…’  I still like it.  Sorry it’s short and irrelevant this week but I did warn you. If you’re looking for intrigue and adventure, you HAVE come to the right place it just hasn’t found me yet, but it will. Mark my words old cock. 

Am I really here now? Can anybody hear me?

…I don’t know; I feel like I’m on a space station somewhere east of Mars. I spoke at length, for example, on no less than two occasions to no less than two humanoids at my internet bank, by phone, explaining to them my predicament re. the loss of my debit card. No problem, the first one told me, the card would be replaced after I furnished them with my PIN number which I duly did, which they in turn accepted, no problem. Hmmm, two weeks later I thought I’d better give them a call and see where in the universe the new card might be….No problem, I was told by humanoid number two, it was probably about to arrive as it had been sent out 11 th August so expect it in a couple of days. Four days later..nothing. So, phone them up and guess what…no record of my EVER phoning them about a lost card…I’m sorry? Nope you’ve never reported this lost. OK so what about the 11th August dispatch, me asks? Oh, yes that was 11th August 2005, Sir. OK, says me (by now seriously worried about all that extra-curricular art school stuff I smoked as a lad), how do you explain the ‘four days away’ remark…..? Sorry, but you didn’t speak to anyone…..meltdown……and things have just got worse and worse.Well that was the UK circa two weeks ago and I still have no bank card as I am still not sure if I actually exist. Now, here in LA, I have a whole different set of problems as all my bank accounts from here to Shanghai haemorrage like a badly written script. The move here has just tripled in cost and a sudden expedition to the local emergency room hasn’t exactly helped matters either. Horrendous abdominal pain found me dialling 911 and being blue-lit to a $15,000 hospital bill, thankfully covered by holiday insurance, yet simultaneously providing a stiff kick to the bollocks as a reminder that Health insurance doesn’t come cheap here in California.Add to that a looming house rental in Manhattan Beach (I know, I know there ARE cheaper places to live, but the schools are great and so is the beach….but the restaurants are crap! What’s that about?) plus a new frigging car and the unexpected arrival of all our gear from UK…….whoever expected it to be ON TIME for fucks sake?? Extra storage costs, men to help move it all, trucks and trucks and it seems, more trucks all adds up to more of the same we left behind. Anyway…..life goes on and the kids start there new school tomorrow, I have a couple of preliminary meetings with production companies (commercial) this week but then the missus is off to London for aforementioned work and I take up the role of Dad-at-home, which I am sort of looking forward to but really hoping I don’t have to turn any work away….I hate when that happens. Actually, the worst feeling is the one I have for my wife who is going to be without US for the best part of a month. I know what that feels like but she is a MUM. All this is, I hope, excuse enough for my short or missed (last week) blogs. Personal shit has just swamped everything else for now. Hopefully, I’ll have some FILM related stuff to talk to you about soon. I hope I haven’t bored you too much with my missives so far….who are YOU anyway?? 

filming gobs of ink floating around a tank of goo

….is what I’ve been doing for three days now and, well I know you’re expecting me to have a rant and a moan but actually it’s quite lovely to watch and try and solve. Beats decorating sets for a change though I don’t get to sit around as much as usual. Strange really, instead of spending more time on my fat arse (which reminds me, I must change that photo of me on the home page of FIB….people actually think I look like that and have started sending me brochures advertising holidays on remote islands in the South Pacific) as I get older, I seem to be more ‘hands-on’ these days and I think that’s entirely down to the lack of money that used to flow a touch more freely, allowing me to surround myself with types more than willing to do the dirty work for me. Funny thing is, I actually enjoy it.

Filming has always been the most boring bit for me because our work at that point, has really been done. All sets built and dressed, graphics finalised and printed, locations locked and shoot crew ready to roll. This is, of course, the world of commercials rather than TV and film where the momentum of the project grabs you at one end of the job and spits you out the other after a mad roller coaster ride that is the fun and games of movie making.

So, instead of finding myself lingering around the craft services or studiously attending to my accounts, I now delight in the knowledge that I’m losing weight and keeping the tone so long as I don’t do my back in…..for that I call on one of my staff; usually someone half my age and more than willing to help an old git when he needs them. Well, needless to say it hasn’t all been a bed of roses as far as shooting ink is concerned and this is something I thought I ought to point out to the producer when I saw her scowling behind the monitors early this morning….” never work with children, animals or ink.” I playfully reminded her. Not sure it helped but the day only got better and by 8 this evening, she was her happy self again.

Tomorrow being day three of our ink-athon, will see how we fair with ‘the probe’. A camera device that will find us following ink around in more tanks, with more goo. All this is for the title sequence of a mega-film of a series of films that I am sworn to secrecy on but feel that I will spill the beans anyway because I want and need the mileage when I finally get on the phone in LA…..am I a movie slut or what? Hope so.

writers block

sorry…..I missed last week due to unavoidable circumstances that managed to see my family and I traversing London from north to south in the quest for a bed or two given our present homeless situation. As per Sod’s law, the work is still coming in thick and fast despite the date for the move less than a week away. The Istanbul gig didn’t pan out - for either of us..phew! - but the missus looks like getting on a plane to Croatia for a healthy five week shoot which cannot be sniffed at. Which leaves me getting the kids settled into LA life and schools etc……..much more daunting than the relatively tame process of harassing  Hollywood producers.

Croatia, on the other hand, is a fine place to both work and play. We managed to get a full week of sailing tagged on to a commercial we filmed on the coast as well as some stuff on the Austrian border with Slovenia……straight out of  Sound of Music scenery…….truly stunning. Great people to work with, very professional and a great support infrastructure makes for a comfortable shoot. That and good food.

Anyway, I must beg for forgiveness here as we are both working hard, juggling kids and moving into our third home in three weeks ready for the final push to LA next week. I shall probably have to do a short one next week also but hopefully will have settled down…….hold on, what am I thinking….still don’t have anywhere in MB yet, and boys starting school in three weeks time….yikes…

californication….

…only because I’m staring at the DVD on my desk, still here in London working on an ident. for the brilliant Irish comedian, Dara O’Briain……the chair…remember?I did manage to sit down and watch Californication with my missus this week and we both loved it and can’t wait to get to MB and start fornica….no, hold on………what I really love about it is it’s Californian-ness as I understand it. Time was, everybody this side would sit and gloat about the ‘ empty, fake, facile, shallow, etc. etc.’ content of American lives being displayed here for us sophisticated types to safely ridicule from afar, snug in the knowledge that we are soooo much more wholesome and sophisticated than our yukky cousins from over there. Well, I have to admit that I too used to be one of them until it finally dawned on me that America and Americans have just got it soooooo right.Take history for example. I was spoon fed on Henry VIII and his coterie of mindless and soon to be headless floozies along with umpteen Kings, Queens and all round megalomaniacs invading here, twatting there pretty well throughout my sparse education and then, as now, I wondered what the fuck has this got to do with me? Then, along came my first American tourists who seemed to be forever staring, mouths agape, several feet above my head ‘oohing and aahing’ and generally fawning over the architecture that also got shoved down my gullible throat. My point is, that it has taken me a very long time to finally realise that what really matters, what really has relevance to MY existence, is the here and now and the kind of history that I can taste and feel and connect with. And, shallow as it may sound, ‘Hollywood’ does all of that for me as it seems to be as relevant to the humans that I hang out with as it is to me.  I get into a lot of trouble  here in Blighty espousing that kind of stuff, but at the ripe old age of 49, that my friends is my take on it, and that is why I love Californication. Of course, I may have another take on it in a few years time but I reserve the right to change my mind on a regular basis.OK, the blog is late this week…I’m sorry. Here is the news….I didn’t get the Brazilian film…..the British Film council decide to stick with the chap they already had despite the fact that it was they who had insisted on someone with a bit more of a track record. Well, I felt for him to be honest so was quite relieved when he was reinstated and of course, it did mean that our careful planning of the next few weeks didn’t go flying out the window. Nevertheless, I really liked the director, Henrique Goldman, so disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to work with him but I do believe these things happen for a reason,,,or not!So, we’re back on track and due out August 12th-ish. Now though, both the missus and I are up for the same rather big commercial shooting for three weeks in Istanbul…..somewhere I have always been obsessed with visiting….game on!! We’ll see. This could mix things up in more ways than we’re banking on. We seldom go head to head on the same job but this time we have touched on doing it together which is always good for a bit of a bloodsport…The chair is slowly taking shape for the BBC 2 ident so I’ll get some photos in next week for those who might be interested. Oh, can someone explain to me what happens to my careful phrasing of paragraphs whenever I post my blog?? Appreciate it.See ya.  

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