californication….

…only because I’m staring at the DVD on my desk, still here in London working on an ident. for the brilliant Irish comedian, Dara O’Briain……the chair…remember?I did manage to sit down and watch Californication with my missus this week and we both loved it and can’t wait to get to MB and start fornica….no, hold on………what I really love about it is it’s Californian-ness as I understand it. Time was, everybody this side would sit and gloat about the ‘ empty, fake, facile, shallow, etc. etc.’ content of American lives being displayed here for us sophisticated types to safely ridicule from afar, snug in the knowledge that we are soooo much more wholesome and sophisticated than our yukky cousins from over there. Well, I have to admit that I too used to be one of them until it finally dawned on me that America and Americans have just got it soooooo right.Take history for example. I was spoon fed on Henry VIII and his coterie of mindless and soon to be headless floozies along with umpteen Kings, Queens and all round megalomaniacs invading here, twatting there pretty well throughout my sparse education and then, as now, I wondered what the fuck has this got to do with me? Then, along came my first American tourists who seemed to be forever staring, mouths agape, several feet above my head ‘oohing and aahing’ and generally fawning over the architecture that also got shoved down my gullible throat. My point is, that it has taken me a very long time to finally realise that what really matters, what really has relevance to MY existence, is the here and now and the kind of history that I can taste and feel and connect with. And, shallow as it may sound, ‘Hollywood’ does all of that for me as it seems to be as relevant to the humans that I hang out with as it is to me.  I get into a lot of trouble  here in Blighty espousing that kind of stuff, but at the ripe old age of 49, that my friends is my take on it, and that is why I love Californication. Of course, I may have another take on it in a few years time but I reserve the right to change my mind on a regular basis.OK, the blog is late this week…I’m sorry. Here is the news….I didn’t get the Brazilian film…..the British Film council decide to stick with the chap they already had despite the fact that it was they who had insisted on someone with a bit more of a track record. Well, I felt for him to be honest so was quite relieved when he was reinstated and of course, it did mean that our careful planning of the next few weeks didn’t go flying out the window. Nevertheless, I really liked the director, Henrique Goldman, so disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to work with him but I do believe these things happen for a reason,,,or not!So, we’re back on track and due out August 12th-ish. Now though, both the missus and I are up for the same rather big commercial shooting for three weeks in Istanbul…..somewhere I have always been obsessed with visiting….game on!! We’ll see. This could mix things up in more ways than we’re banking on. We seldom go head to head on the same job but this time we have touched on doing it together which is always good for a bit of a bloodsport…The chair is slowly taking shape for the BBC 2 ident so I’ll get some photos in next week for those who might be interested. Oh, can someone explain to me what happens to my careful phrasing of paragraphs whenever I post my blog?? Appreciate it.See ya.  

week from hell….

…well whaddya expect? This is the big move week and, true to form, the motherload of work just keeps pouring in and will do until the moment we say, “well, actually, let’s put off this L.A. malarky for a while seeing as things are just so great here now….despite the impending recession…”, at which juncture the sands of time will all but dry up forever and like some spaghetti western, the only sign of anything moving would be the happy skip of a tumbleweed gaily chuckling as it zips past my cracked lips, as if to say  ”go on, book another holiday or, better still, a stupid little adventure like last time.”  I know, I know I’m a cynical old git. This is a way of looking at life that I have worked hard on perfecting for many years. I have done my utmost to avoid positive thought along with optimistic desire, but without the added futility of bitter hatred, for a few decades now and found it most gratifying. My secret mentor, Robert McKee insists that to be a good writer you must have a cynical view of life and I agree with that with every fiber of my miserable self. Optimistic jollity just sets you up for big disappointment, especially in this game where, as Neilly (my pet name for that old grunge-meister, Neil Young) puts it so well, disappointment lurks.Don’t get me wrong fellow filmsters. I am quite a nice chap really and hold a fairly wholesome view of life, the universe and everything. It’s just that I don’t go with that positive vibe thing until it actually happens….Now, this could be the perfect experiment we are embarking on here; one of the many reasons I love L.A. and CA. is the seeming abundance of positive ‘vibe’ that does seem to permeate all corners of that huge desert. This, it has to be said, is what drew me to it in the first place; a relentless drive coupled with unbridled belief in oneself that, although occasionally unattractive in some (English reserve), can be equally beguiling in others as well as entirely infectious. There is nothing I value more in my work and in everybody that I meet be it in the workplace or at home or socially, than passion. And that is what Los Angelino’s seem to thrive on and I feed off it too. However, that slice of cynicism keeps the wolves from wearing me down too much so that when I lose that job to Joe Shmoe, I can grumpily put it down to “their loss” rather than the discarded shards of a splintered dream……I digress……I’ve finished my dreary but socially fun ad. for bog-paper and scored a delightful little ident for a comedy show for BBC 2. I have to design a fantastic chair which starts life as a 60’s/70’s dentist chair which I bought today on e-bay and is to shortly get collected from Newcastle, I think about 300 miles north of where I’m presently sitting typing this. From whence my modelmaker and myself will embark on two weeks of scavenging, sticking and general manipulation to hopefully arrive at something “Brazil-like” with a touch of MIB and I-Robot thrown in……..here is a “before” pic…….The 20 second ident will be set in this amazing location that I saw today for the first time, a very old, dilapidated theatre in Alexander Palace (look it up!) just a spit from where I am still sat typing this…..The other bit of possible employment that is designed to completely fuck up our move to sunny L.A. (despite the fact that all our earthly belongings are on their merry way to join some Atlantic crossing as I write this!) is a possible feature about the very unfortunate last days of Jean Charles Menendez, the Brazilian geezer who was mistakenly killed about 20 times on a subway train in London for resembling an Islamic terrorist bomber…..very controversial and truly fascinating….. Stephen Frears is exec. producing so what can I say…..fingers crossed……..I’ll keep you posted.

my sexy underpants have a life of their own

…of course you will have to dig deep to find the relevance here, but, in the tiny machinations of my (still) stressed out brain there lurks a tidy little reference to the above.One of my favourite things about the States has to be Macy’s and their amazing sales tucked away in the air-cooled corners of this vast emporia. Every time I spot a new one in some far-flung suburb of the huge metropolis that is L.A., my heart starts singing at the thought of more sexy underpants at knock-down prices. There. That should please R.J. no end.

Now, to more mundane matters. Still no sign of a nice house in MB, but then I’m still in London with my family, still working on this lousy toilet-paper ad., but, thankfully working with some lovely people amid odd spurts of glorious summer sun, and making a bob or two to boot.

I must say, I am enjoying this blog-malarky more and more as the weeks go by. First off, it’s certainly proving to be quite therapeutic and secondly, the kind responses I’m receiving from other bloggers as well as complete strangers, is both supportive and generally, NICE. Which is more than I can say for that horrible little nonce, Jim who was obviously on the look out for pornography when he happened upon Avery’s (very entertaining) blog and saw fit to put one finger to keyboard in his futile attempts at a savaging of her efforts. Anyway, perhaps he’ll have more luck having a go at my blog now that my title has more relevance to his sad little life.

Things seem pretty slow here still, especially in the commercial world. It’s always interesting seeing the old faces when you start off your location recces for the coming shoot days. Everyone has a story or two to tell about how hard it is out there, how this one’s given it up to decorate houses or become a domestic sparky or that one’s emigrated to such and such or the really annoying one who hasn’t stopped!…..Wish it was me syndrome….. Not a great deal to report since last week….the SAG business is still looming and filling me with dread.I see Clint Eastwood may be directing a film in South Africa (my other stomping ground over the years) about Nelson Mandela. I remember hearing stories about Clint cruising the streets of Cape Town looking for locations way back….it must be 10 or so years ago…..I wonder if it can be the same project?

My IMDB membership seems worthwhile, if only to keep abreast of things generally. Hopefully I may even get my investment back! My mate, the incredibly talented Nathan Crowley, has just wrapped his feature with the notorious and gifted, Michael Mann just in time to soak up some of the wonderful things being said about his beautifully (I hear, and expect no less) designed “Dark Knight”. I’ve seen clips and it just looks amazing. I have a lot to thank Nathan for actually. Funnily enough, despite the fact that he was just a nipper when I was scrabbling up that ladder (things haven’t changed that much!), it was he who passed on a film in Dublin and then put my name forward. The next five months spent in Ireland were among the happiest of my working life. I’ve never really looked back feature-wise and despite the necessary forays back and forth into t.v, commercials, promos etc., my real fulfilment lies in film and good old story telling.

I’d better get this off I suppose…my missus has been offered three commercials here in London this afternoon…..well it goes without saying really…we’ve booked our airline tickets for LA……!!!!!!

stress city…..

about ten minutes before I put foot in the door of my lovely home in Highgate, my wife slipped a disc and I found myself cooking, cleaning, washing and delivering children here there and everywhere on four hours sleep a night after 16 hours of fitful travel from Redondo Beach the day before….or was it the day after? I no longer cared. Luckily, friends and family have rallied ’round wonderfully and I was able to fit in a recce (transl: location scout) for the toilet paper ad. in South London and Ealing for James Howarth at Another Film co., one of the few London production companies I am told that makes every effort to keep production in the UK wherever it possibly can. Truth is….I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before…..it’s just too expensive to shoot here these days. Whereas I used to spend a few weeks a year at least in the London studios, for instance, I cannot honestly remember the last time I was in one! Hence the move to Hollywood.Now that’s causing a bit of a headache what with the recession taking hold and the looming possibility of a SAG strike. We could up sticks and do the move…….all set, by the way: August 15th!!……..and find ourselves potless and without the means to get back to Blighty! MAROONED! There are a few things floating around in LA, job-wise, but who the hell knows what’s going to happen over the coming weeks. I think, after much prevarication, protracted mathematics and slapping of table-tops, we have decided to do the do and risk everything for the future of the Tanner clan. Otherwise..we move to the country and I take up needlework or something.Last week I was busy looking at houses in M. Beach and visiting our favourite school and meeting the principal when suddenly it all fell apart and I have to start again in a couple of weeks time. These are, without doubt, the most stressful times I have ever encountered. If I survive this intact, I feel I can do just about anything! I remember meeting a ‘Hollywood producer’ - my first - in Johannesburg in 1983 and being quite in awe of this flash looking guy in the sharp suit. Left alone for a couple of minutes, I asked him what it was like and how did one succeed in Hollywood….” You’ve got to be prepared to sweat blood” he said. My naive eyes goggled at him with ever increasing respect. From that moment on I decided there was no fucking way I was going to seep bodily fluids on my expensive suit for no-one, no way…..     I’d just become a designer instead.Now I think I know exactly what he was talking about!