Craiglist Ads Make Brandie Mad!

Every once in a while, a job streak will dry up and I have to put out an email looking for whatever my next gig is going to be. While waiting for responses, I tend to also troll mandy.com, entertainmentcareers.net, realitystaff.com… and craigslist.

Ah, craigslist… my simultaneously favorite/least favorite site on the internet. It’s fantastic, you can find shady jobs which are most likely porn on the same website that you can read the rants and raves of the elite, well spoken members of our society… such as pers-615546700@craigslist.org, who decided they needed to post that “I may not be famous, but I run in a crowd of famous people. And that makes me important than you.” Not MORE important, mind you… just important than you.

I never fully expect to find anything good on craigslist, but once in a while you’ll get a bite. I booked a pilot for Starz! Network off of craigslist, and I know a few people that have gotten some other fun gigs. There definitely are those shady “valley” jobs though… every once in a while I think about it, but I just feel like picking up lunch for a porn set is a line I’m just not ready to cross yet… call me old fashioned.

Craigslist is great though, because you can kill time by reading all the other ridiculous stuff on it while you’re waiting for people to write you back, hiring you for a week, or spamming your inbox with pictures of their genitalia. I like to find fun things to do on my non-work days… one of my favorite time killers is doing paid audience work on shows. Take a book, your ipod, hang out in line and eavesdrop/people-watch tourists, then make $40 for two hours of fake laughing and clapping. I love it!

The only reason I don’t do it more is because TV taping puts me in direct contact with the bane of my existence: The Warm Up Comic. My eye is twitching just typing the phrase. I have never met a warm up comic that I didn’t hate with every ounce of my being. I think it comes from working on shows and having to listen to the same lame jokes multiple tapings a day and realizing that not only is this dude getting paid to be a robot, but an unfunny robot at that. Here’s some advice: never go see Craig Ferguson, his warmup guy made me want to slit my wrists… horizontally, so it would hurt longer, thereby distracting me from the shameless pandering I would otherwise be forced to endure.

You only get that kind of stuff in LA though, because really, whose taping a show in Kentucky? Outside of most major cities, the pickings are pretty slim, job-wise. In fact, let’s take a tour of craigslist film jobs in random, small towns across America:

Montgomery, AL:
“Jurian Isa****’s upcoming fantasy film, “Carousel No.9″ is based around a writer battling writer’s block to meet a deadline. The positions will be unpaid, however participants will receive a copy of the DVD.”

Boise, ID:
“I am trying to put together a small low budget film. This is a volunteer gig and the rewarding part should be the hopeful notice from a big independent film company such as Sundance etc. I can’t guarantee anything and please do not hold me to it, however, I have a great script that is self wrote. It is a movie about a person’s life and the things they deal with or go through, just through their 2eyes etc. It is a very self-expressive movie where many teens, young adults and almost anybody can relate to!”

Grand Forks, ND:
“Looking for a person to shoot for a day on April 5th for a curling competition.”

So. Lesson for this week? Move to Los Angeles… just… just do it… or else you’ll be taping curling competitions pro bono for the rest of your life. But who knows, maybe that footage will somehow get bought by a “big independent film company”… like… Sundance?

… I have to stop now, I’m getting a headache.