Introducing Brandie! (What A Fine Girl)

On November 10th, 1995, I watched Jim Carrey fall out of a rhino’s ass, and it changed my life forever. Stop rolling your eyes and judging me like my pretentious film school professors. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls is my most influential movie of all time, it was the first time I can actually remember laughing until I cried. It was my epiphany, I wanted to help bring that kind of joy to other people’s lives… and now I’m starting to live that dream, being a Production Assistant (and sometimes Coordinator) on television and films in Los Angeles. You older, jaded production peeps might scoff at that, but hey, I am loving life in this crazy city.

I’ve been living in Los Angeles for a little over a year now, and during that time I’ve had a two hour heart to heart with Jerry Springer, babysat transvestites so they wouldn’t do drugs on set, watched Patti LaBelle sing live and get paid for the ensuing goosebumps, and been hit on by more teamsters than I can count.

I didn’t come to Los Angeles to be a Production Assistant obviously, but it’s a fantastic way to break into the business, if you don’t want to be an Executive or Personal Assistant. I love being on set and the crazy little odd jobs you get to do as a PA… literally everything under the rainbow. Some people find it to be a demeaning job, but I think of it as a humbling experience that everyone goes through… I don’t ever want to get cocky about succeeding; otherwise you get sloppy and lose sight of the goal. That doesn’t mean people walk all over me, I’ve quit jobs before because of being treated poorly… DON’T be afraid to do it either, because someone else WILL hire you, and respect your spunk.

What do I really want to do? I am a comedy writer, so moving to Los Angeles from Maryland was pretty necessary. I could have done New York, but I much prefer paying $800.00 a month in rent for a decent sized apartment in Hollywood versus a closet in ghetto Brooklyn with a community restroom. Plus, as everyone knows, you can’t beat the weather. Oh, word of caution, DO NOT move to LA if talking about any of the following four things make you uncomfortable/angry:

1. The weather
2. The traffic
3. Cell Phones
4. Cleansing… aka pooping for rich people.

You will not believe how often those topics come up in discussion… I guess it’s just common ground among people out here… Frequently on these gigs you sign onto them and lose any sort of personal/social life, so talking about the new blackberry is just easier than admitting you work for the movies, but don’t have time to SEE any movies.

Not to say that I don’t love freelance though, because I do. I sign onto a 6/8/10 week gig, then take some time off to write fulltime until the next one comes along. Last year I voluntarily only worked 37 weeks out of the year, and the rest was time taken off to work on my own projects… and I still finished out with money in the bank! At first it was scary not knowing where that next paycheck was coming from, but after a few gigs I had enough contacts that liked me that all I have to do now is put out an email that I’m looking for work and I’ve got something within a day or so, it’s great! And I’ve met some great people too, both talent and production-wise.

Anyway, that’s me. Keep reading this blog and I’ll dish out all kind of salacious behind the scenes stories and opinions on everything from celebrity firsthand gossip to rants about the idiots I’ve worked for ::cough cough:: looking at YOU, Deal Or No Deal… for you film students looking to move to Hollywood, I have PLENTY of advice, all of which you should take because I am doing damn well out here for a sweet little girl from Maryland. So stay tuned, I promise to entertain.