Relatively Speaking

Truth is a funny thing in Hollywood.  When you’re a kid you’re told to always tell the truth.  It’s a non-negotiable fact.  One of the hard moral lines of the world.  Nice though that is for fairy tales and Catholic school it’s not really my experience.

What I have found about the truth is that it’s a rare commodity to be given and taken with care.  And not because people are evil or immoral or whatever.  It’s mostly because people don’t know the truth, don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or just want to keep their job so they can pay their mortgage.

Now, not to say that I’m a rampant liar, but I look at my truth as something I can choose to give or not.  And it’s just not always warranted.  Here’s an example, you go to see a film of some guy you sort of know and it sucks.  Like seriously sucks.  It’s the first screening, the guy is excited and nervous and filled with adrenaline.  And just after the show he comes to you and says, “What did you think?”  Ugh.

Years ago when I was a young student in New York I would have felt it was my moral duty, my obligation to tell the truth.  If I didn’t it somehow reflected on my own artistic integrity.  It would have been my job to either tell this poor guy how bad his film was or to find something, anything, nice to say about it.  Which lead to quite a few, “The titles looked good?” type awful comments.  But now I know better.

Truthfully?  The film sucked.  But here’s the thing.  What would saying that get anyone at that exact moment in time?  Make him feel like crap on his big day?  Make me look like a know it all?  I know my opinion, I don’t need to hear it out loud to be convinced.  Ruin a potential relationship?  The film’s done, it’s not like he’s going to go recut it on my advice.  Also, if he doesn’t know he made a shitty film it’s not like he’s all of a sudden going to be able to see that now.  And besides, I could be wrong.  How mean would that be?

So this is what I’ve come to.  Truth is not the standard here.  And it’s fine.  No need to rail against it.  And no point going looking for it where you know you’ll never find it.

But it is extremely important to know where it does exist.  The people in your life who will tell you the truth are invaluable.  I think this is one of the best things I got out of film school.  I know exactly who to ask when I need an honest opinion.  And this week in particular that really came in handy.

It also got me thinking about the truth.  And I’ve noticed there are three times when I always give it.  When a friend honestly wants my feedback, when I’m looking at my own work, and when it’s something I give a crap about.

Other than that, I’m happy to smile politely and drink my gin and tonic.