Turn Around

After a pretty bleak last week things are swinging back my way a bit.  A couple opportunities have come up but more importantly I took my bad attitude and gave myself a little tune up.

It may have been the stars, pollution, hormones, traffic, who knows, but for whatever reason last week I was fairly incapable of finding the silver lining.  Any silver lining.

But it turned out that slump was the silver lining.  It forced me to stop and have a look around for a moment.  That question, “What the hell am I doing right now?” is not always a bad one.

This was a week of reflection.  A sort of Spring cleaning in July.  And it timed out well too.  This week I learned that I’m being considered for a grant that I would be thrilled to receive.  While of course money would be wonderful, a much-needed boost, preparing for the interview process actually gave me a little gift already.  In thinking about what I would say to the board about why I’m a good candidate I realized I’m not doing such a bad job.  My projects are moving forward.  Slowly, but forward nonetheless.

I made a list of what I’ve been doing, what I’d like to be doing and how a grant could help me better achieve my goals.  I thought about the first thing I would do, and the second and the third.  And there’s the great silver lining in this.  Looking at my list I realized it’s all possible.  It’s going to take time but if I focus on one bit at a time it’s all going to come together eventually. 

And that I can connect to.  It’s just like making a film – deconstructing and constructing.  Focus on the big picture, sink in to the details.

It’s very easy to stress about the speed at which your career is advancing, sometimes focusing too intensely on the moment is overwhelming, but as long as the overall movement is forward, it’s all good.  There are always going to be peaks and valleys but if you can take a moment to pull back, the Earth sure does look beautiful from here.