Change Sucks (If you’re doing it right.)

REMIX/REMAKE/REMODEL

Those of you who’ve been following my progress for the past few months may remember that I though I’d finished mixing my music CD in December. Very excited, I sent the tracks off to a friend who I hired to do the mastering.

GUESS WHAT?

I discovered that I really wasn’t finished. I didn’t like how they sounded when they came back.

And guess what else? It wasn’t his fault. It was mine.

I still had more work to do, but I didn’t know what.

AND BOY WAS I PISSED

At myself.

For taking so long.

For having more to learn.

For being in a rush.

For not knowing what to do next.

WORK TO DO

And no amount of second-guessing or self-recrimination would change the essential fact: that I had more work to do and more mysterious stuff to learn about my work.

I wanted to be done. I wanted to move on to something else creatively. To get the CD into the hands of people who I wanted to hear it. To have tracks to post and send and submit and license and enjoy knowing people were grooving and moving to it.

SORRY

It just apparently wasn’t time yet.

The reality is, in retrospect, that I just went through a great learning process. And a painful one for some reason.

And also a transformative one.

Now, after a third set of FINAL mixes, I’ve dramatically improved the sound, my expertise, my mixing set up (without spending much money, just some $40 software) and my general feeling of completion and mastery as both an artist and technician.

This brings up a relevant point for all of you who’re transitioning or creating.

NEWS FLASH!

The process feels long and slow and frustrating at times.

Career change and creative change requires an inner transition as well.

It’s not just about “doing something” different or better. It’s about a sometimes painful, sometimes ecstatic inner shift.

AND THERE WILL BE BLOOD

(Metaphorically, of course.)

If you’re not running into new fears and new territories and new challenges then you’re probably not stretching yourself into the scary place where you really want to be.

If you’re not having moments of freak out, you’re probably not scaring yourself enough, and possibly not reaching high enough to do your best work, or create what you’re really capable of.

INNER MONOLOGUE:

Watch your inner monologue as you work and create and transition and change.

Recognize that if you’re complaining and raging against yourself you’re ACTUALLY expanding and burning through some old habits, patterns, structures or beliefs that won’t die easy.

But as you move to the next stage, level, story, business plan or mix, you’ll look back at the shell of your old self with a knowledge that that part of you had to be released.

That it served you well, and that you’re now free to play and work and create on an entirely new playing field.

At least until the next growth stage occurs.

And my hope, is that I’ll have some mixes to post in the next month.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

What is changing inside of you?

What will you complete in the next month?

Let me know in the comments section below.

PS: Oh, I posted a new video of myself talking about Hollywood and Creative Leadership. It’s right here on the YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_LA9zvvMms

Let me know what you think.