I’ve Found My Morgue!!!…

(Yes, I know I am a sick puppy…)

And what a beautiful morgue it is too! Free from the aroma of formaldehyde. Because it is  A SET ! Conveniently located near Culver City, or there’s an identical one in Santa Clarita. It comes with a hospital corridor, wards, an operating theatre, full of gleaming new medical equipment. All courtesy of a truly helpful film industry entrepreneur Bruce Schiller, the owner of MAJOR MEDICAL PROPS/POST MORTEM/ SETS IN THE CITY. Check out his website www.majormedicalprops.com
He has a bunch of other standing sets too, which is great news for all of us who want to shoot in LA. I don’t think I’ve ever met a more accommodating set rental company. You can tell Bruce has a wealth of knowledge and really loves the process of making films.

A set will allow a much more comfortable nurturing atmosphere during that day of shooting. Location morgues are no fun at all. They remind cast and crew of their own mortality, something of an obstacle to finding your inner child, and letting the creative aspect of your function flower, which, to me, is what making scripted drama is all about.

The Toronto morgue I used for my whodunit ESCAPE CLAUSE, had a chilling atmosphere; that is until the sound department requested that the fridges be turned off before each take. Then, cumulatively during the hours of shooting the atmosphere changed to something that was hard on the nostrils. Some people had to leave.

The only person it worked for was Andrew McCarthy, who gives a stunningly truthful reaction, when called upon to identify his wife’s body: and the audience does not know whether or not it was he who actually killed her. Fantastic moment. He’s a great actor.

When I surveyed the morgue, I was warned there was an autopsy in progress on an unfortunate man who had been stabbed in the chest during a street brawl a day earlier. You could wait an hour till it was over, my Canadian guide offered. No, we’ll do it now, said I. You might feel faint, he warned  I’ve done lots of blood and guts, said Mr. Macho, I’ll be fine.  No worries, mate.  In like Flynn.

The door opened, and there before me was a masked and gowned man, lifting a 12 inch square section of ribs off the body, to calculate angle and depth of the knife’s penetration. Suddenly, like a blow to my entire nervous system, I did feel queasy. Light headed. Tingly… My experienced Canadian guide, who had, no doubt, seen a bunch of directors slam to the tiles at that point, suggested that I watch by looking at the reflection of the autopsy in the stainless steel surface of the adjacent fridge. As soon as I turned my eyes to that reflection, which widened the distance a bit, the queasiness started to recede. I was suddenly at second remove. I was not really there. Soon it was controllable, and I could stride around the room, choose my angles, and depart upright, rather than on a stretcher. Thank you, Canada. (They’re not being passive aggressive, they’re just being helpful in a pointed way…)

(The director on survey with male lead/co-producer CHRIS CLEVELAND.)

More on our webisode pilot, a smart sci-fi police procedural created and produced by acclaimed FARSCAPE writer Ricky Manning, after the shoot. Webisodes are a burgeoning future strata of production, where greater creative control will remain in the hands of the truly creative people. Ain’t life grand!