Prosthetic effects for film

INTERIOR. ANIMATOR’S OFFICE - NIGHT

The Animator, on his 33rd straight hour, is slumped in his chair in front of the computer screen. Deep in REM sleep, 8 Redbulls notwithstanding. His dream of playing Frisbee in the park with his dog is interrupted by an old nightmare. His dog morphs into the Tyrannosaurus he animated months ago for the Sci-Fi Channel Original AZTEC REX.

AZTEC REX
Hey, dickhead. Wake up, you’ve got a deadline.

 

ANIMATOR
Don’t bother me. You’re done. You went to air on Saturday.

 

AZTEC REX
How did we rate?

ANIMATOR
The executive producer promised to tell us last Monday.
We’re still waiting.

 

AZTEC REX
How was the promo?

 

ANIMATOR
They ran it a lot…could have been more exciting.
Could have had some of the juicy bits in it.

 

AZTEC REX
I like juicy bits. Helps me be patient during the talky bits.
Did they like the bit where I gobbled up Marc Antonio…
And his guts fell in a heap on the sand…followed by
his shredded torso…That was cool, man!

The T-REX starts to salivate.

ANIMATOR
(to himself)
My reptilian brain is really active tonight.
Must cut out red meat…Seriously.

 

AZTEC REX
So what’s the buzz?

 

ANIMATOR
Overall, people thought it was fun and way above average.
Of course there were the usual self important IMDB snarks
with no understanding of the business of film -
“ the worst picture ever” brigade - I mean,
what sorry excuse for a human being posts
“She’s sour face ugly” about an actress?

 

AZTEC REX
Misogynists. Chronic masturbators with bad eyesight.

 

ANIMATOR
There was a lot of response to the Aaargh!! moments.
E’s The Soup people got it. It’s on U Tube.
Though they left the best chomping shot out.
Their piece was nice!

AZTEC REX
( gobbling a passing skateboarder)
I gotta admit I can’t take all the credit for that.
Those prosthetics wounds were great!

***********

Yes, Bryan Furer’ s prosthetic effects were great under any circumstances, let alone on a make-up budget best described as the smell of an oil rag. And Bryan ran the make-up and hair department at the same time. The number of Conquistadors and Aztecs we could have on the screen was limited by the cost and time frame required to deliver body painted natives and wigged Spaniards to the set. But delivered they were, which is what a director under the gun every day needs.

But the prosthetics guy gets his ration of Acute Pressure, when he has to set up and execute a gore shot with everyone looking at their watch. The effect has to be tuned to the camera angle the director has chosen, which, if the director is sensible, he has selected in consultation with the prosthetic artist at the planning stage. In other words, if the shot works best in profile, don’t change it to three quarter profile on the day just because the camera guy says the background is better, causing blood tubes or prosthetics personnel to have to be hidden unexpectedly. (“ I have to be here because the tube is only three foot long.” etc.) Been there, done that.

I love what Bryan Furer did for the post-bite dying Mendoza, which strongly supported a wonderful death speech by Will Snow.

When we shot the Aztec guard in the throat with a crossbow bolt, it’s a pity it had to be a night scene, which, on our budget and schedule we had to shoot at magic hour, because some of Bryan’s detail work was lost in the gloom.

It also helps to have a patient and co-operative actor, particularly when he has to lose his leg. Shawn Lathrop, seen here waiting patiently, was a real trooper through the lengthy set-up process. By the time his real leg was buried, a real - therefore heavy - rock placed over it, his prosthetic limb positioned on top, the tubes hooked up to the blood pump, we only had enough light for two takes of what I had always conceived as one shot. It was to deliver the audience both an Arrgh! moment and a black hearted laugh.

Start on Alvarado’s sleeping face. We hear crunching sounds. The sleep deprived man groggily wakes up, as the camera dollies back, unaware of what is happening. He looks down just as the camera reveals the chewed off stump spurting blood. ( I know, I am a sick puppy.) Then the pain kicks in and he screams. Contrary to one critic, there is medical precedent for this delayed response. Besides, that’s the joke, madam. Gets a big laugh.

( Perhaps you don’t yet truly understand the genre you presume to judge.) And the pay-off is that the Christian Imperialist Alvarado, when seeing the creature eating his leg, thrusts his rosary into the lens as defense. Gets a bonus wry smile from the cognoscenti.

Time paradox genre cocktails like AZTEC REX are inevitably in the category of Absurdist Drama. The best approach to that kind of material is play it straight with a wry undertone. The campiness will take care of itself.

I been wanting to make this kind of genre cocktail since working on Ray Harryhausen’s VALLEY OF GWANGI and Hammer’s WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH ( Or, what we called it: When Diana Dors Ruled The Earth. UK geezers might remember.)

Absurdist Drama entertains a lot of people.

If you want some undemanding Thud and Blunder, Sci- Fi will be repeating it. Check your local listings. It’s my Hammer style Saturday Matinee shoestring spectacular. I wince at a few things, but I’m proud of the result for the price. It’s a pity we only had 900K below the line, but hell, I’m a cup half full kind of film maker. It’s really the only way to be.

Theatre has so much to teach us Film Folk

INTERIOR WELLINGTON COLLEGE DRAMA THEATRE NIGHT

1963. An audience of teachers, students, and relatives of the cast fill the 200 seat theatre for the second and last performance of the school production of King Lear. Most of them are praying for it to end; though, among the parents, there are pockets of rapt attention whenever their offspring is on stage. Those with a knowledge of Shakespeare realize that the play has reached Act 4, Scene 6, and their torment will soon be over.
Goneril’s steward Oswald, “ a serviceable villain”, sword in hand, has confronted the mad Lear and the blinded Gloucester, unaware that their “mad” companion, dressed in peasant garb and blocking his path, is in fact Gloucester’s son Edgar.

OSWALD
Out, dunghill!

Edgar readies his quarterstaff against the sword. The Young in the audience have but one common thought: Thank God. A fight scene. About bloody time.

The 16 year old actor playing Oswald has been looking forward to this moment, too. He is also the fight choreographer for the play, but his massed battle scene in Act 3 with replica weapons had been cut at dress rehearsal for being “too dangerous.” The legal ramifications of children being poleaxed in front of their parents somehow took precedence over his dynamic choreography. So this is his sole opportunity to strut his stuff, and tonight his parents are watching.

Thrust, block, disengage, feint high, cut low, block again. Due to extensive rehearsal both actors are in perfect synchronization. Now, the final phrase. A hard parry, then Edgar knocks the sword from Oswald’s hand, followed by a lunge with the staff, hitting Oswald in the midriff, pitching him back.

The actor playing Oswald is both “in the moment” and anxious to impress. He does a flying back fall worthy of a John Woo movie. He lands harder and slides along the stage further than at rehearsal. But the essential element in this part of the choreography has been maintained. His body remains at a 90 degree axis from the audience. This will enable Edgar to thrust the sword just to the upstage side of Oswald’s midriff, but give the illusion of it entering his stomach. Edgar picks up the fallen sword and approaches.

At this point there is an unfortunate confluence of events. First, the velocity of Oswald’s slide on his back along the stage has resulted in the collar of his costume to be pulled tight like a noose around his throat. The actor, momentarily stunned by the unexpected impact of the exaggerated fall, does not think to slide back enough to release the constriction on his windpipe. Besides, it is his job to stay “in the moment” playing the terror of imminent death as Edgar readies his downward thrust.

The second issue is Edgar’s accuracy with the weapon in hand. Perhaps disoriented by having to walk a couple of paces further than in rehearsal, he rams the sword down beside Oswald’s upstage thigh rather than his mid section. Thus from the audience’s point of view, whose heads are level with the floor of the stage, it appears that the sword penetrated the genital area.

Compounding these issues, is Oswald’s determination to deliver the most agonizing scream of pain ever uttered by an actor on the Shakespearean stage. But the restriction to his windpipe results in a piercing falsetto.

An explosion of hysterical laughter rocks the auditorium, perhaps releasing the accumulated tension acquired from watching 2 hours plus of bad school theatre on uncomfortable canvas seats. Unlike today’ s open slather of gross out humor, this is an era when such sight gags were forbidden from stage and screen. The teenagers are in Seventh Heaven. And their joy infects the adults. The actor’s writhing to free his windpipe only ensures the waves of laughter continue for 30 seconds.

Oswald, in addition to being mortified by his unintentionally comedic castration, is faced with a dilemma. He has 5 more lines! A death speech of vital exposition, revealing to Edgar secret information, proving Edmund’s adulterous treachery with Goneril. The actor knows without these lines the next scenes will make no sense. It would be a merciful end to his humiliation to simply stay dead, but no, the show must go on. The actor puts on his best dying voice, but the text now seems a precursor to Monty Python And The Holy Grail. Adults struggle to resume decorum, but with each line the teenagers bring them undone, as Shakespeare spiked by a crotch joke descends into bathos.

OSWALD
Slave, thou hast slain me. Villain, take my purse.
If thou wilt thrive, bury my body;
And give the letters which thou findst about me
To Edmund Earl of Gloucester. Seek him out
Among the British party. O, untimely death!
Death!

Death, indeed. Ending the speech after “ the British party “ might have been prudent. But it is hard for a young actor, even under these circumstances, to give up a word of a small part.

*********************

As Shakespeare said, shit happens. More on my various disastrous stage appearances in future blogs. No doubt many of you have witnessed or personally experienced worse travails. This memory was recalled by the posting of an old school friend David Myer, recalling our end of term review days. ( David, please send me your email. )

I have such admiration for theatre actors. In a movie, when you screw up, you can do another take. Not so on the stage. The egg will continue to drip down your face till the text allows you to retreat to the wings.

On Sunday I saw a play that was flawless in every respect.

“LADY” by Craig Wright, is a Road Theatre Company production at The Lankershim Arts Center, North Hollywood, running till the end of June. Without wishing to give too much away, I would describe the play as a profoundly engaging allegory, in which the Left, the Right, and the Confused of our political spectrum, along with the Core Values of this country, are represented and debated, when three old friends go on their annual hunting trip.
Such is the skill of noted playwright Craig Wright, a writer for Six Feet Under, and the creator of ABC’s Dirty Sexy Money, that it never becomes preachy. All the dialogue, some of it naturalistically overlapping due to thoughtful direction by Scott Alan Smith, springs organically from character and situation. Mark Doerr, Matt Kirkwood, and Shawn Michael Patrick don’t just perform well, they inhabit their characters, so that the laughs and the tears stay with you days after the show. The set design by Stephen Gifford is a clever, evocative use of slender resources. Sound design is very effective at taking us into the emotional heart of the piece. I could go on. Suffice to say, every department delivers excellent work.

My overall point in this week’s blog is that Theatre has so much to teach us Film Folk. It is the dramatic soil from which we Cinephiles sprang. It educated and entertained humankind for thousands of years before technological advances gave birth to the movies. But the underlying disciplines in both mediums are the same. As a profession, we do not go to The Theatre enough, and I don’t mean the big ticket items. It is the small theatre companies that are doing the cutting edge creative work. In the US, Canada, UK, and Australia, actors, writers, and directors are practicing their craft, between paying gigs, for crumbs or for free, in little theatres not far from you. Surely there is one good play a month, validated by word of mouth or a reviewer you respect, that is worth a visit.

“LADY” certainly is. It sends you out thinking. Which is what drama is intended to do.

The Road Theater Company, in the Lankershim Arts Center, 5108 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood, 866) 811-4111, www.roadtheatre.org
From 04/22/08 to 06/14/08; opening 04/25/08

Tolerance in the Movies

EXTERIOR BUCKINGHAM PALACE NIGHT

February 4 1954. A light dusting of snow blown by a strong wind swirls around a line of limousines, Rolls, and Bentleys, as they pass through the Palace gates. Supervising policemen and Household Cavalry Guards shiver in their uniforms.

INTERIOR PALACE HALLWAY NIGHT

A state dinner is scheduled to commence in 2 minutes. The Prime Minister’s chief Aide looks at his watch. Before the Queen can enter the banquet hall, all guests must be seated. Particularly the guest of honor, the Prime Minister.

The Aide stares at a door on which a sign in Gothic lettering reads: “ Gentlemen’s Convenience ”. As if in response to his anxiety, the door opens and 80 year old Sir Winston Churchill emerges, still sharp as a tack and looking forward to a grand evening.

The Aide, being a highly paid civil servant, trained in matters of etiquette and decorum in the pre-zipper era, sees that the Prime Minister has neglected to button up his fly. This will certainly be noticed when he stands to make the keynote address. Amongst the British upper classes of the time there was a euphemistic code for warning against this potential social embarrassment.

AIDE
Sir, you’ve…dropped sixpence.

Churchill glances down and observes his error.

CHURCHILL
Don’t worry. An old bird does not fall out of its nest.

INTERIOR CHURCHILL’S BEDROOM MORNING

Sir Winston rarely sleeps more than 3 hours at a time, so he is already up sitting at his credenza and going through Cabinet papers, when a knock on the door announces the arrival of his regular morning tea, toast, and a copy of The Times.

A servant enters, deposits a tray, and leaves. Accompanying him is the Aide
who was his escort the previous night. He has Sir Winston’s Times in his hand which he places on the tray. In those social circles it was impolite for one man to touch another man’s Times before he did.

CHURCHILL
Something of interest in today’s paper?

 

AIDE
Nothing of note, Sir. But the afternoon tabloids
and certainly next Sunday’s News Of The World
will be running a story that is of concern.

 

CHURCHILL
Not another war profiteer expose, I trust.

 

AIDE
No. I’m afraid last night one of our Defense
Under Secretaries was caught in Regents Park
with a young Guardsman. The Guardsman got
away, but the Under Secretary was arrested
and charged with gross indecency.

This could become a media football, given the rabid homophobia of the Lord Chief Justice Rayner Goddard, the recent arrest of renowned stage actor John Gielgud, (causing his Knighthood to be postponed for years) and the imprisonment of Lord Montague of Beaulieu for lesser offenses.

CHURCHILL
When was this?

 

AIDE
2.15 AM.

 

CHURCHILL
In Regent’s Park?

 

AIDE
Under a tree, Sir.

 

CHURCHILL
It was rather cold, I thought…last night.

 

AIDE
Coldest February day on record..according to the
Times, sir.

Churchill muses for a moment.

CHURCHILL
Makes you proud to be British…

*************

Both scenes come from very reliable sources, confirming Churchill’s progressive sense of humor on this issue. It occurred to me that his attempts to minimize damage to his government and to the 2 luckless individuals at the center of a potential sex scandal might make an entertaining political dramedy/thriller, set in a fascinating time of transition for the UK. The Korean war, anti-colonial insurgencies throughout the Empire. Major social change underway. Evocative of Hope And Glory and A Private Function. And Albert Finney would have the opportunity to continue his remarkable portrayal of Churchill.

But movies with gay themes amid sizeable period recreations are not easy to finance. I have produced and directed 2 gay-lite movies for the Here! Network. First, why did I do this?

Long time married, father of two grown sons, I am not gay, but I am gay friendly. By that I mean I support the normalization of gay relationships not only in society but in entertainment. One day there will be a few mainstream movies and television shows in which a gay character is The Hero, not just The Best Friend.

(Sidebar: Which studio chief was it in the 60’s who was asked “ What do you think of Ronald Reagan as Governor?” He thought he was getting a movie pitch, and responded “No, Jimmy Stewart for Governor, Ronald Reagan as Best Friend.” That would have been an interesting ticket…)

Personally, I don’t think people should have their character or their social worth judged by how they rub their pink bits together. Sexual identity should be no more important than the color of one’s eyes. So buried in my oeuvre are two obscure films: TIDES OF WAR starring Adrian Paul as a gay nuclear submarine commander in the don’t ask-don’t tell Navy, and IN HER LINE OF FIRE starring Mariel Hemingway as a lesbian secret service agent, in a shoot-everyone-in-sight Lesbian Rambo riff.
Gay issues percolate but are not dominant, and gay audiences probably were hoping for more content directed specifically at them. Each film is a formulaic genre homage in which the heroic character with whom we are intended to identify, when valiantly firing torpedoes or an M16, just happens to be gay. Because gay people have the same capacity for courage as straight people. It’s a truism, I know, but I was pleased to build an action movie around this thesis. Just doing my bit for social justice, one B movie at a time.

Next, how did I do this? With some difficulty but a lot of fun.

TIDES OF WAR is a gay twist on Run Silent, Run Deep in the Crimson Tide, cleverly written by a tireless writer Mark Sanderson who has now had six scripts filmed. Naturally the US Navy refused to offer cooperation. (How I was cited for Federal Trespass may be the subject of a future blog.) Their greatest objection to the script was that the sub commander’s lover was serving with him on the boat. Fraternization is a no no.

So, for interiors, we found a civilian floating dry dock with narrow corridors, then built, with Home Depot materials, control and sonar rooms in the grip/electric warehouse, dressed with a host of dials and gizmos on loan from retired naval personnel. Exteriors were stock footage, and tons of CGI from Blasini Imageworks. Uniforms were bought for us on base at discount prices by sympathetic servicemen. (We did unfortunately get some naval insignia wrong. Mea maxima culpa.) 15 frantic days of shooting all over Honolulu and the picture was in the can.

Then came the task of enabling the project to recoup its cost. This was done by making three versions of the film. (1) The Here! Network version (2) The “ straight” version, shorn of its gay content, for world video and television under the title: PHANTOM BELOW. It shipped 150,000 units in the US. (3) A Japanese version, also shorn of gay content - because of course there are no homosexuals in Japan - at the length required by that market: 97 minutes.

Actually I thought PHANTOM BELOW would have made a cool gay title. I even suggested we shoot a 4th version in which the same dialogue was spoken by a crew of submariners who were all openly gay. “ We could call it PINK TORPEDO - THE MUSICAL.” (Sommmmmebody stop me!) Could have been hysterical. The Ritz, at 40 fathoms.

IN HER LINE OF FIRE was easier, despite an even smaller budget limiting us to only 12 days of shooting in New Zealand and 2 in Vancouver. I am grateful for a bust-their-ass-for-you cast and crew, and the delicious chemistry between Mariel Hemingway and Jill Bennett.

 

It amused me in 2005 to conjure up, in the opening titles, an euphoric vision of Washington after the Bush Regime has been swept away. Working till the wee hours, Congress has passed universal health care unanimously. The Vice President, flying out on a world tour to promote environmental issues, is a good guy and not Darth Vader. One New York reviewer had no sense of the sardonic. The irony of the lesbian issue shared by the current Vice President and my fictional VP escaped him also. Never mind. The straight version, tragically shorn of two lesbian kisses, and the moment when the ex-marine Vice President gives girl on girl advice to his lesbian bodyguard: “Go for it!”, was released to international markets as Air Force Two.

I’m for Tolerance. You can still serve a cause in low budget popcorn. I think, on a sleepless night, Churchill would have enjoyed both movies.

The Brilliance of Visual Effects Artists.

INT. VISUAL EFFECTS ANIMATOR’S ROOM - DAY

3 AM: The Animator gulps down another Redbull with his tofu salad; tofu -to put enough fuel in his creative spirit to push on and deliver these last shots by the 9.00 am deadline; Redbull - to ward off the waves of exhaustion that buffet him in his 28 the straight hour at the computer. He is beyond dog tired. He is T-Rex tired. And tired of the T-Rex he is animating.

VOICE
Wake up!

The Animator jerks forward in his ergonomic chair. The tofu in satay sauce must have overridden the caffeine and comforted him into a doze. But who is in his office at this hour? He whirls round. The room is empty.

VOICE
It’s me, dickhead!

He swivels back. The T-Rex on his computer screen is talking to him, while chomping down on the human being in his mouth. A leg falls to the ground.

T-REX
I’ll get that later. Sorry, talking with
my mouth full again, I know, it’s rude.

ANIMATOR
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

 

T-REX
OK. I shouldn’t have called you dickhead.
I apologize.

 

The Animator gapes.
ANIMATOR
I’m hallucinating, aren‘t I?

T-REX
Maybe. How old was that tofu?..And while
we are on the subject of dicks, where’s mine?
I mean you know what they say.. oversized head
means over sized … I’m like a Ken Doll
with scales down there. I should be hung like a howitzer.
This is no Disney picture, buddy.

The Animator was astonished to hear himself reply

ANIMATOR
Lizards don’t need big dicks. All you do is fertilize eggs.

 

T-REX
What do you mean - the sin of Onan? Have you
seen the size of my puny hands?
Don’t bullshit me. It’s a budget thing, isn’t it?
You can’t afford the extra animation time to give me
the shlong I deserve.

ANIMATOR
Hey! You are anatomically correct. Just as you were in
Walking With Dinosaurs. I can’t believe I am
conversing with a collection of pixels.
This is a dream. I need to wake up so I can
make my deadline.

 

T-REX
You’re crazy! 200 shots in four months!
You’re not working for one of those
t“ I don’t like it” directors, are you? You show
him the shot and all he can say is “I don’t like it”.
He can’t say what’s wrong. Just “I don’t know
what it is, but I don’t like it”. OI!

ANIMATOR
Not this time. Can I wake up now?

 

T-REX
Listen, I’ve taken a walk through the other shots,
and there’s a really important element missing.

 

ANIMATOR
What?!

 

T-REX
The big blue bouncing ball, dummy!

 

ANIMATOR
Help! This is a nightmare! I must wake up now!

 

T-REX
I’m serious. When it comes to pre-final render
approval, every shot has to have a big blue bouncing
ball in it. Because there’s always some 800 Pound
Gorilla that comes in at this stage, you know, the kind
no one dares piss off by saying: “ This is not your area
of expertise, dip shit, so butt out!”, but who is
compelled to somehow mark it with his scent. So you
give him something to fixate on so he doesn’t spoil one
of your grace notes. “ Of course, you‘re absolutely
right, ” you say, “ it would be much better without the
big blue bouncing ball. The shot would be perfect.
We’ll take it out at final render, sir.”

 

ANIMATOR
These guys are not like that, they speak with one voice.

 

T-REX
They don’t make you milk spiders, do they?

 

ANIMATOR
Milking spiders? What does that mean?

 

T-REX
A lot of effort for very little result.

 

ANIMATOR
No, they understand the process.

 

T-REX
You’re lucky. A case in point: Director comes
in to look at this huge shot. Complex camera
movement, battles raging in every corner of
the frame, an absolute cue-the-applause
show stopper, at the end of which the monster’s foot
slams down into foreground. So what does he say?
“Move the foot 2 inches to the left.” The VFX
supervisor measures with his fingers on
the monitor a two inch approximate span from the
leading edge of the foot. Such a reposition will
cause the foot to mask the sight of an exploding car
in the background. “OK,“ says the VFX Supervisor,
not grasping the reason for the change, but wanting
to be accommodating to a name director,
“ We just have to move the exploding car out a bit
so that it will be seen. “ No “ , says the director,
“ not two inches with your fingers on the screen;
TWO REAL INCHES within the actual geography
of the location. Move the foot over two real inches,
then the composition of the final frame will be
perfect.”

 

ANIMATOR
But that’s like 3 pixels?

 

T-REX
Who can argue with a major director’s vision
of perfection on a mega budget picture?
So, do you know how long it took to re-render
28 layers with 15 separate green screen components?

 

ANIMATOR
A week and a half?

 

T-REX
Ah, you‘re not just a pretty face.

 

ANIMATOR
Did all that extra work sell a single extra ticket?

 

T-REX
That’s not the point. At the top end of
town, this business is about ego and image.
And who’s got the biggest dick. Which reminds me.
About my shlong…

The Animator startles awake. He had been dreaming, but the extra REM gave him the energy he needed to be done by dawn.

********************************

I love and admire Visual Effects Artists! I wish I could do what they do.

( Steve and Bennique Blasini, Pat Corbitt, Elliot Worman - different companies, different movies but the same level of artistic dedication. You constantly amaze me each time I work with you.)

The above riff on just a few of the difficulties VFX contractors experience allows me to engaging in a shameless plug for my up coming premiere on The Sci-Fi Channel - AZTEC REX. 9 pm Saturday May 10.

AZTEC REX is a good example of the challenges you have to meet in low budget genre. It was financed by Hawaiian investors ( Mahalo, you guys, keep doing it! ) and shot fully union on the windward side of Oahu at the beautiful Kualoa Ranch, with 2 days at Turtle Bay, while Forgetting Sarah Marshall was being shot at the same resort. It was my second picture in Hawaii, I cannot speak highly enough of the experience, and I can’t wait to do another picture there.

Many years ago when I was a trailer maker in the UK, I had the privilege to work on one of Ray Harryhausen’s classics - THE VALLEY OF GWANGI.

Cowboys versus Prehistoric Beasts! Just my cup of tea on a Saturday afternoon. So when this Conquistadors versus T-Rex/ Apocalypto in Jurassic Park came along I jumped at the chance.

When preparing a genre cocktail, there are many additives to be considered, not the least of which is Style. Do you accentuate the historical anachronism of the concept by employing the currently vogue-ish, whip panning, focus adjusting shaky-cam, operated by a man suffering from St. Vitus Dance? Or do you employ the classical framings and motivated camera movement of the swashbucklers of old, to create a unifying style that is both homage and a wry smile at the conventions of costume dramas in their heyday. Perhaps you can guess my choice.

Sometimes I sprinkle a little “ what if? “ into the mixture. In the case of AZTEC REX, what if - this film was being made by Hammer, the hugely successful British production company of the 50’s thru 80’s? Hammer made its name with classy horror and buckets of bright red blood; tame by today’s standards, but striking in its day. What if Hammer made AZTEC REX as one of its many summer holiday swashbucklers like PIRATES OF BLOOD RIVER but were unencumbered by the UK censorship restrictions they always chafed against ?

Hammer often made 3 versions of its films. One was to pass the British Board of Film Censors at the desired level of certification, generally CERIFICATE: “X”. ADULTS ONLY. UNDER 16 NOT ADMITTED. Then the “ continental version ” replaced scantily clad ladies with topless ladies. Oh those naughty French… Then there was the Japanese version which added three times as much plasma to each gore shot.

Lots of satisfied customers. So, there’s a little Hammer tone in the mixture. Certainly AZTEC REX has more flesh and more blood than you will generally see in 90 minutes of television. In this way, I hope to guarantee the movie a long shelf life.

Next came the realities of making a costume drama/monster movie with 200 VFX shots in a WGA/DGA/IA/TEAMSTERS town on 35 mm. for 900K-and-change below the line. Everyone was very accommodating so we got a lot out of 15 x 11 hour days. There are so many people I should single out for special praise - perhaps the subject of another blog. So I hope the other cast and crew members will forgive me if this time I only mention three.

JAMES LOCKE in his very first professional acting experience, makes a stylish villain, holding his own against IAN ZIERING who’s no slouch.

Then there’s the stunning girl you cannot keep your eyes off! Tibetan Australian, former star of “Neighbors” DICHEN LACHMAN. Drop dead gorgeous. Smart, vulnerable, endearing. She holds her own in scenes with Rescue Me’s JACK McGEE. I believe both these young people have a big future in front of them.

And a big vote of thanks to Elliot Worman and his tireless work on the T-Rex.

The film is not perfect, but it is fun, and ought to please that Saturday night Sci-Fi crowd. So if this genre is your cup of tea, please watch. Please comment back to this blog or IMDB as harshly or as generously as you feel. Please let the Sci-Fi Channel hear your opinion too. And if you know anyone with a Neilsen ratings box this coming weekend….

AZTEC REX

9.00 pm (8 pm Central)
Saturday May 10