Is Your Writers Group Worth It?

If I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn’t really want to go to school for it or do it full time, so I just joined up with a handful of other people who wanted to be doctors and twice a month we talked about what we would or should do in specific medical cases without any real doctors actually telling us if we were right or wrong - do you think a hospital would hire me? I would friggin’ hope not. And to me, this analogy is why I think most writers groups are pointless.

Now before you all jump down my throat, I am fully aware that there are some very elite and picky writers groups in LA, NY, Chicago, etc., that turn out great writers with great material. I know there are some groups where writers have to be in WGA or be produced or optioned or represented to even be considered. I’m not talking about these few super elite groups. I’m talking about the rest of them.

The blind leading the blind is an often used phrase because it applies in so many instances, none more perfect than with a writer’s group full of people who don’t have a clue. In doing events around the Country, so many writers pitch to me by saying their writers group thought it was the best and really liked it. Well…congratulations. But, the shiniest piece of shit in the pile is still a piece of shit.

I’m not saying writing groups don’t have their upside. They give writers deadlines, motivation and peer feedback. And if you are only looking to write as a hobby or as therapy or just for fun – then this is great! But if you’re stuck in Nebraska (or even if you’re in LA) and you want to jumpstart your screenwriting career, your writers group full of beginners isn’t going to help you. They don’t know the market, they don’t know what sells or what’s in production or development, they don’t know how to pitch, and many don’t even know how to write. So why do you care what they say about your idea or script? Yes, you’re getting a new perspective, but it’s probably an uneducated one, so what’s the point? They may be telling you to lose the ONE thing that makes your script stand out because they just can’t see it. Like being given a fruitcake at Christmas, just smile and nod and pretend like you love what they are saying, and then find someone who knows what the hell they are talking about.

If you want valuable, knowledgeable and professional feedback, spend the money and go to a real script reader or analyst service. There’s a ton of ‘em. They probably seem more expensive than your writer group, but if you add up all the chips, dip and wine you had to buy to bring to the meetings, it would probably equal what you’d pay a real analyst to make notes on your script, and you’d get much more out of it. Or find a mentor who can guide your career and your writing process – someone who has experience in the industry and is a professional writer.

For those who do want to be part of a writer group, make sure that at least a few of the members have sold or optioned something to a REAL company. Preferably, something that was produced. And hopefully some should have representation, because the best thing that can come from a writer’s group besides inspiration and perspective is networking. And if you don’t live in LA or NY, try to join a group online where members are in LA, because you need that perspective. But quite frankly, I’ve never known a script to sell because the executive was so impressed with the writers group the author was a member of.

And if you’re going to join a writers group do some due dilligence and make sure you are joining a group where you will actually get something out of it other than some decent snacks and polite conversation. Cause if that’s what you want, stop writing and start playing mahjongg.

From Assistant to President: A Different Take

So, I wouldn’t normally write a blog in response or in connection to another blog on this site, especially one written by someone I personally know, respect, love and work with.  But after reading Rachel Miller’s blog that mentions how often the situation arises where an assistant is promoted to a high level executive position almost over night, it sparked something in my head that needed to come out of my mouth (or at least my fingertips).

Now, I want to be SUPER clear. Rachel Miller has worked for some of the best and brightest and hands down the HARDEST people to work for in this industry and she’s GREAT at what she does. She works harder than anyone else I know, 24/7 and her clients are insanely lucky to have her in their corner. So this has nothing to do with her and she is one of the people who truly deserved to go from assistant to CEO. But not everyone out there is like Rachel. And I know the point of her blog was actually to tell you to be nice to everyone and meet with everyone you can – to always network - and she’s absolutely right, so my blog is not meant to take anything away from her point.   My point is simply an observation related to her blog – and that is: Some of these people who seem to rocket from Assistant to President – are wildly unqualified and preclude those who are, from getting these jobs.

Rachel mentioned John Palermo, whom I don’t know personally, as a perfect example of this, though I think he’s another exception to my rule because he seems to actually know what he’s doing (“Viva Laughlin” not withstanding).  But there are many more out there and like John, most of them were assistants to actors or directors. These are the most plum jobs in the entertainment industry because not only do they get all the great swag from every awards show and party their bosses are invited to, but they also become ingrained in their life, becoming tight with the agents, managers and all the producers that their boss works with. So even if their boss doesn’t start their own company and they aren’t able to get promoted that way, they have an inside track with the agencies and are able to find exec jobs through them much easier than any other assistant in Hollywood. Plus, these assistants learn all the dirty little secrets of their bosses (hello, confidentiality agreement) and make themselves invaluable to these stars who sign their paychecks (something everyone should do no matter who you’re working for).  

Yes, if you land one of these coveted gigs you’ll probably have to get coffee and clean up dog shit for a year or two, and of course put up with all the crap and innate insecurity that comes with working for talent, but if you’re lucky enough to latch on to a celebrity who becomes so successful that they start their own company, as MANY have done in the last 5 years or so, you can basically write your own ticket. I can name 50 actors who have their own company and that’s just scratching the surface. Not to mention the writers, directors and big name producers. And many are run by people who were the stars’ assistant.  But here’s my question – is it a good thing for the rest of Hollywood when people can go from poop scooper to producer or president in a years’ time? 

Of course that is the exact lure of this industry. The eternal carrot dangled ever-closer in our faces. The fact that one year we can be living on Ramen noodles and doing menial tasks 12 hours a day and the next year, we could be making 6 digit salaries and getting invites to the Oscars. And for the most part it’s all about luck. I have a friend who, when he stepped off the boat, signed up with a temp agency and the first job he got through that agency was as Tom Cruise’s personal assistant. Seriously. But the question remains - how can someone who was previously charged with keeping one person’s schedule, reading a few scripts, and making sure the reservation at the new hot restaurant was made, be able to produce a movie? That’s one hell of a learning curve. I know that after my year or two of being an assistant was over, I wasn’t nearly ready to take that step. Now, there are a couple of popular anonymous tracking boards that trash people who were perhaps promoted too quickly. But I’m not here to trash specific people (sorry) – just point out that the situation exists and in some cases, the upward mobility is unearned. 

And you don’t even have to work for a huge star. B-Listers and even C-Listers have their own companies these days. I think the only thing more depressing than reality stars starting their own film or TV Company is the fact that their star-fucking assistants become players in a game they are not qualified to play in.

Now, this isn’t to take away from the role an assistant plays. It’s a hard fucking job! We’ve all been there. We’ve all paid our dues. It’s part gatekeeper, part office manager, part accountant, part development exec, part travel agent, part driver, part bitch, and part God. And all of that is probably greatly amplified when you’re working for a celebrity or big name. And there ARE some people who learn what they need to in two years time and ARE perfectly qualified to run a company. But they are not in the majority.  

As someone who has had to look for an executive job, after already being an executive elsewhere, I can’t tell you how frustrating it was to hear that instead of a company hiring someone with exec experience, they chose someone who was an assistant because they wanted to be in business with the star that person worked for previously.

Here’s the real reason many of these people get promoted…ready? Because these stars (or directors, producers, or high level executives) can’t afford to get rid of them. They have invested their time and money in these people and who have already earned their trust and know too much about them. So instead of looking outward for people with real experience, they would rather just give their assistant a nice title bump and a cut of the profits and hope for the best. Which quite frankly, really fucks the rest of us over. Now I know what you’re thinking – I’m just bitter. Well, yeah…I guess I am (you all read my first blog right?). I don’t deny it. I wish I had been smart enough when I came out to LA to find the closest celebrity I could and ask to walk their dog and pick up their lunch.  I wish I had used my internships to become some unknown comedian’s butt buddy in hopes they’d have a TV deal five years later. And I wish I had known then that this would be the best and quickest track to success. But alas, hindsight is 20/20.

So if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wait outside Dan Tana’s with a sponge and a squeegee in hopes that some nice celebrity has a car in need of a good scrubbing, cause I want a full producer credit on my IMDB before I’m 35.

The Grand Prize Is….A Script You Can’t Sell!

I am asked all the time by writers who want to get their script made if it’s worth it to enter all the screenwriting contests they can find and my quick answer to them is NO.  Because here’s the thing about screenwriting contests - in general, the scripts that usually win – never get made! The only exception to this might be Nicholls, where many of the winning scripts have been produced including the recent winner “Butter” which is going into production.

Why won’t they sell you ask? Because what a contest looks for and what studios and the marketplace look for are very different which is why I don’t feel contests are decent barometers for successful writers. Good writers? Maybe. But successful writers? No.

Now, if you’re interested in simply breaking in and getting noticed and landing some meetings with representation, my answer would be different. Contests can be a fantastic stepping stone or springboard for a writer, not to mention make them some extra living money. Nicholls especially has launched many a career, including Susannah Grant, Jacob Estes, Ehren Kruger, and Karen Moncrieff.

There are certainly some contests out there that mean a great deal in the industry and will get you noticed if you place high enough or win, like Nicholls, the Disney Fellowship or the Creative Screenwriting Expo Contest.  But because in general, the project you win with is probably never getting made, you need to have other scripts already written that you can pitch and send to all the people you’ll be meeting with.  FYI, if you just placed as a semi-finalist in the Iowa Regional Screenwriting Bonanza – no one gives a shit. And you should definitely not write this blazing accomplishment in your query letters.

Small or statewide contests are fine if you just want to practice writing, or it’s just a hobby, or you really want to win the $250 grand prize and free dinner at the local steakhouse. But if you’re serious about screenwriting, don’t waste your time.  And being a quarterfinalist means nothing no matter what contest it is. If you only made it to the quarterfinals in a competition where only 50 or 100 scripts were submitted, then that tells us you weren’t good enough. Even quarterfinals in Nicholls, where there are 5500 submissions, still means that over 1000 other scripts were better than yours. So why would that be a selling point?

Do you know what kind of scripts win most contests? Sweeping period dramas, war movies, quirky low budget character pieces, intricate multi-character prestige pieces, or loving family films. You know how many of those are made at studios per year? Like 5. And I guarantee almost none of them were contest winners. So I don’t understand why competitions put uncommercial material on a pedestal. It almost encourages writers to write against the marketplace, and therefore hurts their chances of selling something. Now good writing is good writing and the cream will rise to the top and be noticed, but you’re never going to see the winning script of the Disney Fellowship be a raunchy college comedy, a slasher movie or an erotic thriller, no matter how well they might be written. But guess what – that’s what sells!

I met with a writer who placed really high, if not won, the Nicholls fellowship a few years ago. And I asked her what prompted her to write that screenplay. What inspired her to tell that story? And to her credit, she was completely honest and told me “Because I knew it would win the Nicholls and I really needed the money.” This was not a first time writer – she had been around – but she hadn’t sold anything, so she was still eligible to submit her stuff. And because she knew that she was good enough to make it to the finals, all she had to do was match her skills with the type of story that contests drool over, and she knew she had it made. And she did. She made thousands of dollars off that script from different contests – but it never got set up and never got made.

Part of me got angry at her for being so smug and screwing over other writers that maybe should have won but didn’t because they didn’t have the right genre of script, but more of me was so impressed with her savvy, knowing what types of projects would win the contest, that I couldn’t be angry with her. She wrote a script without having irrational or ridiculous hopes for it. She wrote a script for one purpose – to win $10K in a contest. And she did it.

I was a judge for Scriptapalooza years ago – okay actually my boss was, but guess who read every fucking script they sent over and told him who to pick? That’s right.  And what I learned was that you’re not really picking the great script, you’re picking the best script from the pile you’re given. I honestly hated every single one I read. I remember thinking – these can’t be the finalists! So, especially for smaller contests where there aren’t five thousand entries, being the best doesn’t necessarily mean you’re that good. It just means these other people sucked more.

Yes, it’s worth it to enter into a National (usually LA-based) screenwriting competition, just know what you’re getting into and be realistic about the outcome. Always give preference to your career in the long run as opposed to that single script. 

As a tip, the following contests are the ones execs are more likely to pay attention to:

Nicholls Fellowship, Disney/ABC Writing Fellowship, Sundance Feature Film Program, Scriptapalooza, Screenwriting Expo – CS Contest, USC Competition, UCLA Competition, Final Draft Screenwriting Contest, Austin Film Festival Screenplay Competition, Slamdance Screenwriting Competition, Screamfest (genre specific), Page International Screenwriting Contest, Nickelodeon Writing Fellowship Program, International Family Film Festival (genre specific), Moondance, Visionfest, Acclaim, Creative World Awards, BlueCat Screenplay Competition.

Let the comments commence…Am I wrong? What are your thoughts on the best contests to enter? The worst? Leave them here!

Increase in A.D.D + Good Weed = High Concept Movies

First let me apologize for not posting sooner. It’s been a crazy couple weeks, but ive got some great blogs set up for the next couple weeks… And let’s start with a new theory I’ve come up with….

 

I’m pretty sure the term high concept was hatched years ago by studio execs that were completely stoned out of their head and didn’t have the attention span to read a whole paragraph, so they called their preference to only read one-liners the “high concept.” 

 

And with the ridiculous number of adults “struggling” with Attention Deficit Disorder these days, I’m not surprised that this trend has become the only way a project gets sold. The levels for reported A.D.D. increased about 1000% in the last 15 years, so can you imagine what’s going to happen 10 years from now when all of those children are running the business world? Bedlam. That’s what.

 

Now I’ve smoked a good deal of pot in my day. And by my day, I mean last week. And I know that when I’m baked, there’s nothing better than sitting down and watching a mindless comedy or horror movie and laughing my ass off while eating something crunchy…and cheesy…and chocolaty…mmmmmm….But do we really have to aim our whole industry at servicing the stoners and the ever growing population of people who suffer from A.D.D.?

 

I have worked for at least one person, if not a few, who suffered from horrible A.D.D. or ADHD and let me tell you – it’s not fun. Having a meeting or hearing a pitch with someone with A.D.D. is like trying to get the attention of an 8 week old puppy who needs to be taken for a walk. It’s impossibly frustrating. I once had a development meeting where I went through pitching a list of 20 projects I had read that week while my boss literally cleaned his ears – with his finger – and then looked at me like he just discovered I was in the room and said, “What did you say?”

 

And this is the type of person this industry has decided to promote to a place where they have the power to greenlight a project. So is it any surprise why so much shit gets made these days?

 

I’m not a huge fan of high concept projects on principle. Why? Because usually that’s all these scripts have – a big concept. A great logline. A commercial one-liner. And from great, experienced writers, I expect more. Any idiot can write ONE good line and as the many pitchfests I have attended have proven, any idiot can come up with a good concept. And then it becomes the development exec’s problem and task to make sure the script cashes in correctly on the brilliant concept and pitch. The problem is that these “high concept” scripts aren’t usually supported by great characters, emotions, or stories that really connect with an audience. They may attract or grab an audience, but they don’t connect with them – and there is a difference. One’s visceral and one’s personal.

 

High concept blockbusters are the filmmaking and literary equivalent of putting something big and shiny in front of a baby’s face and going – Look! Look! Coochie Coo! And audiences turn their heads at the shiny object as they giggle and go “Oooohhhhhh” and we don’t notice that we are being made dumber by that very automatic attraction we have to it.

I’m not saying I’m not a fan of mindless tent pole blockbuster movies – in fact – I love them! Superheroes, disaster movies, big action, explosions, Michael Bay…okay well…maybe not Michael Bay. But seriously, I enjoy all of this stuff. What I don’t like is how all other types of projects are being pushed aside in this town in favor of these. Studios are only interested in Oscar winners and Tent poles, and that attitude trickles down to the companies who have deals with the studios, and then down to indie companies trying to sell anything in a brutal market, which trickles down further to the writers who are trying to impress upon any company they can that they know how to write something commercial.

 

This means that it is increasingly harder for production companies to set up projects, and all those great little non-high concept projects are being relegated to DVD releases, if that. Sure there are smaller, character driven movies being made, but not many by studios. And if you notice, these days most of the “indies” out there are being directed or written by big names, have even bigger stars attached, and are made for much more than the million dollars that used to be considered an indie film. Today, there are $60M indies being made. I don’t think that’s what the Spirit Awards had in mind.

 

I had a teen comedy I was trying to sell a while back. One that had a star, had director interest, and could be made for about $10M. I was told by a few studios that it’s not worth their time, because even if it made $50M at the box office, it’s not worth the money when you factor in $15-20M for P&A. So apparently, making $20-30M in profit isn’t worth a studio’s time. So what are we left with being forced to sell? Shit like “Knowing” and “Poseidon” and “Watchmen” and whatever was shat out of Seth Rogen or Kevin James’s ass this week. Perhaps if a few more of these mindless movies failed, studios would realize audiences can handle smarter material. The problem with that theory? Audiences, by and large, can’t. And why not? Because most of them are too hopped up on the same damn A.D.D/ADHD medication that the studio execs are on to concentrate on anything where the main character doesn’t say “WHOA” 20 times.

 

And that my friends, is how good weed and parents who would rather load their own kids up with drugs because they are too proud to call them dumb, have ruined the movie business. Thanks, Mom!