Auditioning: the next step for extras

A really odd thing happened to me this most recent Thursday and Friday.  Actually, it happened four times in 48 hours. That’s what made it so odd.  I auditioned for four different productions in four different locations in two days in a row.

Those who read my posts regularly (2 people, I would imagine) know that I have been a background actor for decades and love what I do and do not aspire to stardom. However, I’d have to be crazy or very dull not to be making a continuing effort to move up to “under fives*,” character parts or the coveted “guest star” on The Mentalist, Criminal Minds or Medium that I dream of every night as I go to sleep.

To that end, we background actors throw ourselves into the ninth concentric circle of hell, also known as AUDITIONING.
In spite of responding to everything I find on Now Casting and Hollywood OS, my two favorite online casting clearinghouses, I hadn’t had an audition in several weeks so it was a great surprise to me when I landed two in one day, scheduled for Thursday, February 25, 2010. Then, I landed a third one for early Friday morning and - while walking from the parking garage at the corner of La Brea and Santa Monica Blvd to CAZT Studios for the second one on Thursday - I got the call scheduling a fourth one, for the next day; Friday.

Let me intersperse a little well-earned personal knowledge here: I have learned to audition for anything for which I am remotely right. Why? Because even the inevitable dead ends where you screw it up or they decide to “go a different direction” give you something you would not pay for if you could but you should: experience auditioning. So, I audition for student films, Internet webisodes, pilots, commercials as well as TV and film projects. Since I cannot afford, nor do I deserve an agent, I find them myself and I maintain my own schedule and follow-thru.

Audition  #1 1:45pm  Thursday 2-25-2010 Now Casting Burbank

I submitted for a part in William F. Reed’s fascinating web series project, Zomby Inc. which I was sent by my terrific friends at Now Casting. The role is a natural for me, Jack Striker, a recurring character described as “the new and improved (or so he thinks) Geraldo Rivera. He reads the news better than anyone before and way better than anyone in the future.  Imagine Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute as the same person reading the news and you have an idea as to who Jack Striker really is.”

Since I spent 20 years early in my life as a broadcast journalist and TV anchor, I knew this guy. So, when I arrived for the audition early Thursday, I strode in to the audition room, all power and glory and bullshit and shook hands with the two young casting directors, saying, “Hi. I’m Jack Striker. But, then you knew that. Bet you still have your Jack Striker lunch boxes.” They laughed and never stopped smiling through two reads of the material and some improv.

Sure enough, by Sunday, I got my callback notice Email with the comment, “Congratulations!  ‘There’s just something about that guy’ is the phrase we keep using.  Nellie and I would very much like to invite you to call-backs… We liked what you brought to the audition and would like to see more.”

Audition #2 3:15pm Thursday 2-25-2010 CAZT Studios West Hollywood

An hour later, I sat among about 35 young good looking actors and actresses in the CAZT Studios waiting room (there were six productions being cast there that day) chatting with two talented actors in my age group about the business. This call was very mysterious. All I knew was that I was auditioning to play a high school principal and that the project was a TV pilot. After waiting about 45 minutes, I was called in, asked to do two lines twice, did so, and was thanked. Turned out the project is a TV remake of the 1950s game/reality show, Queen for a Day and I was auditioning to praise a contestant not yet chosen. Curious.

Audition #3 10:00am Friday 2-26-2010 Chapman University Orange

On Friday morning, I drove across on the 210 and down the 57 to Orange and Chapman University’s modern and beautiful Dodge College of Film and Media Arts. In the same room in which I’d had my first rehearsal for Breanna Wing’s wonderful little film, The Visitor, I read for three young men casting a student film called An Educator.
Frankly, I was underwhelmed by the one set, two-character, one scene script which basically involved a young educator arguing with an older educator about the latter’s inability to cope with new computerized learning methods. It was, at best, a warmed over debate in which neither side seemed very interested in the outcome.  One risk you take in auditioning for student films is the frequency with which the scripts are really lame. I was in and out in 13 minutes. (After a 90-minute drive, by the way.)

Audition #4 2:00pm Friday 2-26-2010 USC Los Angeles

Three hours later, at the USC campus in downtown LA, I had the opportunity to audition for another project in which I really would like to be involved, Mitchell Golden’s fascinating SANDCASTLES : A MOCKUMENTARY. Basically, the short film is about a budding documentarian who follows the major players in the (fictional) Greater Los Angeles Sandcastle Showcase (GLASS).

The role for which I read was a lead character named Jack McKee. Recently divorced and trying way too hard to cover up his depression with false optimism, McKee abandoned his highly-paid job as an architect to join the sandcastle circuit, which has become an obsession. He’ll do anything to win his fifth trophy.

Mockumentary is perhaps my favorite film form. I have worshiped at the shrine of Christopher Guest (Waiting for Guffman, Best In Show, A Mighty Wind and For Your Consideration) for over a decade and studied with several experts in the field and - frankly - have a natural gift for the straight-faced improv the genre requires.

To prepare, I spent the half-hour before my audition sitting at a desk in the hallway writing down a series of improv hooks such as “I invented the Sandula, of course. You know, that special spatula that all sandcastle builders use.” “My wax-coated shorts to which sand does not adhere and my ultra wide-brimmed sun shade hat/umbrella called the McKee Shadebrella are very popular.” I also made notes about my brush with infamy when I was accused - in what the press referred to as Watergate 1999 - of mixing quick-drying cement with my sand and water and how it affected my career.

I spent about 20 minutes with Mitch and his camera and computer in which he interviewed me and I totally improvised my answers based on his notes and mine. I had a great time. From his inscrutable smile, I cannot guess whether he will cast me. But it was a great experience to exercise my mockumentary muscles once more.

So, two days, four parts - two of which I really hope I get - and now it’s back to checking my Email constantly and waiting for the phone to ring.

Bottom line: most casting directors and student filmmakers want you to do well. They’ll not judge you harshly; they simply want to find the perfect person for the role. One casting director confided in me, “The casting process is as exhausting and difficult for us as it is for the actors. We’re just waiting for the right person to walk in the room so we can all go home. I want to see an actor who is prepared,” she explained, “but not so over-rehearsed that they can’t take direction. And I am especially happy if they show up on time.”

I strive, when auditioning, to be relaxed, friendly and anything but needy. Seeming desperate is a sure way not to get a role. Casting directors already know I want them to hire me. That’s a given. I avoid unnecessary chit-chat and do not linger in the room after I read. I smile, thank them for the opportunity and make my exit.
When it comes down to it, getting the job is 5% what you do, 10% what you look like, and 85% dumb luck.

*
The “Under Five” - This is a role where the actor has under five lines to speak.