The Producers Development Exec - Deep-sixing the protective social veneer

The Casting Director - What would Jesus do?

The Actor - “SO, YOU AREN’T THAT GIRL IN ‘MY FATHER THE HERO?’”

The weeks seem to be flying by faster and faster, and the next thing I know it is blog-posting time again! Now, they do say time flies when you are having fun and as you get older. I think I can second that notion…at least for the moment.

As mentioned last week, I am gearing up to start working on the musical “WICKED” again, where the fun will surely continue. I am looking forward to going back to my temporary “home” in the Hollywood Hills, where I will be house-sitting at the end of each day of fun interacting with all the Broadway-hopeful actors, singers and dancers!

Actually, speaking of the Hollywood Hills area, the infamous paparazzi like to hang out from time to time around those areas, one of which I will be calling “home” for about a month. Celebrities such as: Ben Stiller, Charlize Theron, Richard Dreyfuss and Jane Fonda called the area home at one time, as did Marilyn Monroe, back in the day.

Recently, Lindsay Lohan caused quite a frenzy while looking to buy a house nearby, but ultimately decided that she would need to build a bigger wall to keep the paparazzi out. Oh, the things you learn from having fabulous family friends who live there. Plus, who doesn’t enjoy a little celebrity news and Hollywood gossip from time to time! TMZ anyone?

Who knows for sure what, if anything, I may see while staying in the area; I might just happen to have some celebrity encounters of my own. If this should happen, I will make a point to report to you, but with only the facts as I see them, of course. One thing I can assure you is that there will be no paparazzi there for me unless they, like some people, mistake me for Katherine Heigl, which does in fact happen more often than even I can believe.

It all started back in 1994 when I was 15 and she was starring in “My Father the Hero.” There was a new substitute teacher at my high school who stopped me in the hallway simply to ask if I acted in movies during my summers. I had no idea what he was talking about and questioningly said, “No?” He proceeded to say, “So you aren’t that girl in ‘My Father The Hero?’” Which I was not, of course, but you can bet I went home that day with a mission to figure out who “that girl” was.

Mind you, it took slightly longer with the dial up, cross your fingers in hopes of making solid contact, Internet connection we had in those days. However, it was very worth it in order to discover, via the wonder that is IMDB (Internet Movie Data Base), the answer to the question I had been pondering, out of curiously, the entire day! “That girl” was none other than 15 year old, at the time, Katherine Heigl.

So, a little unknown fact about me is that I have known of her since that day. From that point, I’ve followed her career, which has taken off in recent years, due in part to the TV show “Grey’s Anatomy.” She has been persistently plugging away for some time, something I have always said I believe is key in this industry. However, saying it is one thing, but sometimes it is nice to see some actual proof of it paying off as well!

Seems you never know what you might learn from these little buoyant blogs of mine, even through a quick update. I hope you’ve gained the answer to this blog’s title question, or else, I suppose, it will have been rather disappointing. I, at least, hope to have kept you entertained in some way, shape or form!

“I was fortunate to discover so young something I’m so passionate about and something I want to spend the rest of my life doing.” – Katherine Heigl

Side Note: I’ve survived my first big earthquake and am happy to report that my heart did start beating again once I got off of the unexpected roller coaster ride! Lesson here is that, just as with acting, one must always be prepared!

Tags: Film, Movie Blog, Director, Movie Theatre, Actor

The Digital Video Assist Operator - It’s Better to be Above me than B…

Good afternoon class!!! Today’s lesson is going to teach you both vocabulary terms and key phrases that are needed to become a Digital Video Assist Operator specifically and that could be helpful to any crew member.  When I started working in this industry, I used to hear some of the “Old-Timers” complaining about us “Newbie’s” and I would think they were mean, bitter and hated me/us… Now I understand what they were trying to do.  I learned so much from these guys, even as I was often the butt of ALL of their jokes and pranks.  I hope you learn something or at least laugh at what I have experienced from my stumbling through as a Film Crew Member…

Digital Video Assist Operator - The only job in the biz (other than a Producer) where you can be some, no home, shopping cart pushing, walking the dog slob, one day and the next day you’re a full fledged card carrying film crew member of Local Union# 695- Sound and Video Technicians.

Ok,……. so, you think you might have detected a slight bit of  bruised ego hiding between the sentences in that last paragraph.  Did anyone ever tell you that you’ve missed your true calling as a shrink or psychic? You brainiac!! Nothing gets by these film kids nowadays. I may have made things sound a little more simplistic than they are in reality. I’m guilty. The truth of the matter is this, the pre-screening test is pretty tough, but it’s only 4 questions.  You have to get 3 out of the four correct more accurately… you have to be able to answer “Yes” to 3 out of 4 of the following screening questions:

 1. Are you directly related to (blood relation is not required but is desired) anyone Above The Line? (This term originates from the early studio days when the budget top-sheet would literally have a line separating the Above-The-Line and Below-The-Line costs. In the movie industry, Above-The-Line expenditures are those that are negotiated or spent before filming begins. These costs can include rights for the material on which the screenplay is based (i.e. Into The Wild – it would include the price paid to the family for the story…and that expenditure would be considered above the line).  Above-The-Line also includes the salaries for the screenwriter, producer, actors, director, and assistants to directors (not to be confused with assistant directors)?

2. Have you depleted all resources, chances, favors, love, friendship, trust, and for that matter, hopes that said relative stated in question #1, had for you at one time in your life?

3. Do family members, close relatives, friends, close acquaintances, distant relatives, acquaintances and people you’ve met less than twice in your life time refer to you as, The Tick, The Parasite, The Leach or The Blood Sucking Black Hole Family Vampire, aka BSBHFV?

4. Can you hookup a VCR to a TV correctly?

OK, so you’ve answered YES to three of the questions above (I won’t ask which three)…  Congratulations!! You’ve just passed the screening test and are on your way to becoming a Video Assist Operator. All that is needed now is for said relative to cough up the Union’s initiation fees and you can start your new career tomorrow. You might be thinking to yourself, “Hey Glenn…what do I do next?”  Well after the Union rep gives you the spiel about the Union and Code of Ethics…  Traditionally you proceed in securing that the job title of Video Assist Operator is synonymous with what they say about people who Assume or make Assumption. Anyone in the film industry can quickly tell you the definition of “Assumption” and it would be defined as, “The Mother of All Fuck-Ups”!  So you run along and make sure you continue with this long-held tradition and get yourself hired before you learn the fourth item on our checklist (and you too can be known as “Joe…oops I didn’t get that shot Video Assist Guy”). Let’s move on… I’m sure you get the point.

Video Village- I touched on this term in an earlier blog, but it deserves reiteration.  A film set term that refers to the area defined by two distinctly different items placed in the general vicinity of one another, creating a vortex that has no equal power. Strangely enough, this vortex is random if measured by conventional methods.  Although, when measured by the size of one’s intense desire and ability to impose his will on others, well then, not random by any stretch of the word. This vortex draws only a selected crowd of film folk, but it’s always certain to produce just that, a crowd. Even though these selected few seem to be from the same species of mammal regarding their physical traits and appearances (plus, of course, the $900 Saxs Fifth Avenue slacks and the deficiency in cranium sized).  It would seem that these chosen few, let’s just call them, “Above the line”, or better, “ATL” folk share very little in terms of mannerisms and character traits with their working counterparts, the  “beeehheeeelloooooohooooohooohoo (it’s important to pronounce this word, which is correctly spelt, “below” as if you were coughing at the same time as you are uttering the word, Helps with the effect. Remember, I am without the ability to provide sound for my audience (look it’s the sound guys fault NOT MINE).  You could say the amount of sound I provide is in direct proportion to the size of an audience I demand…or is that command).

The Below-The-Line will now be referred to as “BTL” folk. To be more definitive, it’s that the ATL folk don’t share the same lower body strength, willingness, urgency or maybe just plain old concern for the guy that at this very moment, literally, just earned himself the name - One Nut from his fellow coworkers while attempting to move a 120lbs. ceramic potted shrub.  He is presently bear hugging, all by himself, in hopes on saving him and his department’s ass from being berated and slightly defiled in front of the whole crew in less than 2 minutes, give or take a few seconds.  One would say that’s a pretty good estimate if one could assume that this is what the 1st A.D. was referring to when he said, 2 minute warning, everyone!

Two minutes from now, the First team’s coming on stage, “let’s give them quite, people”. Now, One Nut is the only one in his department that realizes that this shrub has been in more shots in this scene then our number ONE cast member or any of the cast for that matter. This 120 pound nut cracker, which by the way had just given him a lovely parting gift for the ride back to work… One nut would’ve gladly refused this if it were offered to him rather than…..crammed down his shorts. What could that have been, you ask?  I’ll tell ya, all the ammo that his department buds needed to dub him with a snappy new set name. Poor poor One Nut!!

Two minutes from cameras rolling and this plant’s been in every shot in this scene and I wouldn’t bet against the script supervisor on picking up on the fact that something is just a little off with the continuity of the set…

We are minutes away from shooting… film will be rolling and it doesn’t matter if your department is ready or not…  By no means does that mean the director doesn’t care if your department is ready or not if ya get what I’m saying?  This should empower the ATL with the ability to move on their own, but in this vortex these “People” are difficult if not impossible to start in motion, leaving them virtually helpless and without the ability to get the fuck out of the way at crucial times.  This unwavering lack of ability or desire to “get the fuck out of the way” along with their, noisy, hindering opinionated mass that spits out catchy clichés such as, “Let’s do lunch sometime” or “Have your people call my people”. Or better yet,  ”That Video guy’s such a moron. He could fuck-up a rock fight.” Do ya get it? See, in a rock fight all you have to do is pick up and throw a rock. Simple,.. right? (his audience, which is made up of other ATL’s, still hasn’t caught on to the simplicity of the joke and sits for hours dumbfounded, silently mumbling to one another as if they’re trying to solve the issue of global warming at that very moment).  Look…the Video Village, in short, is where anyone who is someone stands around the directors monitors as long as they want… No one ever asks them to leave (for fear of losing their job), except on rare occasion, the director… Gotta love that!!

I hope this was helpful…please learn the definitions for the final Exam… Remember, I really will send the prize (computer prop used in Twister) to the highest score

If you made it this far… I have a favor to ask… My girlfriend’s son did a project for his High School Economics Class…  It is on YouTube… Please take a look.  It’s pretty funny!  He doesn’t know we have seen it, and (while you would think he would have asked for my help) they did it with one cheap camera and no experience.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f6ryiODK28

 

Next week’s lesson is “Who Can I Trust in the Movie Making Arena?”

Tags: Filmmaker, Film Blog, Movie Bloggers, Movie, Filmmaking

The Cinema Studies Major - YouTube Cinema

I’ve decided that I’m only making a half-hearted apology about last week’s bout of Nietzsche. General consensus among my more devoted readers—numbering, at this point, about five—is that they liked the blog, but didn’t understand the Nietzsche. That’s fair, but I’m not sorry for including him. You …

Tags: Director, Television, Movie Blog, Film Blog, Actor

The Storyboard Artist - THE STORYBOARD GIG

Listen folks, there are no “small jobs”, just smaller amounts of money you can have in your bank account.

Last week, I explained how bad work was the last two months, but that I just got a little gig that was “small”.

Okay, when you get used to doing features, a commercial is “small”. Not in stature, as commercials pay better on a day by day basis, but I’m usually done on a commercial in a day or two, when a feature can last weeks or months.

When one has bills to pay, MONTHS sounds better.

The upshot on this job, was that I got to work with a very talented director whom I am honored to call a friend.

Bennett Miller, has done a number of commercials you may have seen, but he is known in the film world for deciding for his first film to do a story about Truman Capote.

For those of you lucky enough to have scene “CAPOTE”, it should have knocked your socks off. If you have not seen it, go to the video store now.

As I chide the choices for most film debuts of directors from other mediums (horror, “hood” films and comedies are a reliable choice), Bennett did a very studied film about one of the great writers of the 20^th Century. He also made it funny, even as it touched you.

Bennett and I have always gotten along well, as we share a sense of sarcasm and wit in our daily observations. Plus, we just respect what the other does.

The spot was for Nikon, featuring Ashton Kutcher, who has done a number of spots for this company.

This job could have been for can openers, as it always great to work with Bennett, where we can trade quips and stories. The job went longer than we thought, but it got done. The money I made will do well to pay for some bills, and I met some very nice people at the production company as well as hopefully making some connections.

Yes, enough “small” jobs can work out quite nicely. 

Tags: Director, Oscars, Television, Filmmaking, Actor

The Personal Assistant - “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow”

After the photo shoot, my next task was to go develop all the pictures at a one-hour place, so she could look through them over the weekend. Guess how many pictures there were… eight-five? A hundred and fifty? Three-hundred and eighty-seven! Luckily, digital cameras are around; can you imagine what a waste of film that would have been otherwise? (I know this sounds mean, but come on; 387 pictures?!) I get the 387, 4”x6” photos developed and hand them off to Chloe; she looks happier than I’d ever seen her. She tells me she’ll see me Monday morning.

On Monday, she hands me her favorite fifty three. Yes, only fifty-three. She wants 8 ½” x 11” ones made of these, “So I can decide which one I like the best,” she says. The rest, she wants me to make a collage of, get framed, and put up in the office she and I share. So if we subtract fifty-three from three hundred and eighty-seven, we get three-hundred and thirty-four pictures… of herself. I laugh to myself (and only myself) and do as I am told…

The framing of all the snapshots alone costs nearly a thousand dollars. I love how people spend oodles of other peoples’ money. Such insanity. Her poor husband. And she hasn’t had an audition in weeks… She sends me to the grocery store (for everything from sugar-free ice cream to organic chives) as she goes through the fifty-three headshots with the magnifying thingy she insisted I buy for her, just like the ones real photographers use.

I come back to find that she has chosen her ten favorite photos (after telling me how difficult it was to choose). One of them is the photo where she’s hanging upside-down from the monkey bars, remember? (Combine how funny that is, in and of itself, with her ridiculous-looking hair extensions, and you’ve got a real winner. By the way, I should mention that her hair extensions have not gotten any better looking since last week; she still looks like a drag queen… I suppose wearing less make-up would help remedy this, but that’s a whole other blog entry.)

Then she tells me that she has a new project ready for me. (Yippee!) She wants me to make fifty, 4”x6” photos of each picture and use them as postcard invitations for a party she’s having… for her new hair. Yes, she wants to have a “Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow” party, complete with my writing that in calligraphy on every invite. I can’t wait… I remind myself it’s better than buying her and Dean condoms… and better than accidentally setting their bedroom on fire… and leave with the stack of pictures in an envelope under my arm.

Tags: Oscars, Director, , Television, Movie Theatre

The Key Grip - Yes Man

Blog 3

In my last blog I talked about the day to day responsibilities of being a grip, and while everything I wrote was true, its only the tip of the iceberg in the essence of gripping. There is one thing above all others that I feel is the most …

Tags: Television, , Hollywood, Movie, Oscars

The Production Assistant - Backstreet’s Back… Or just Brandie

Dust off the cobwebs, stretch those muscles, Brandie’s back!  Did you miss me?  I know, I would miss me too.  Sorry for the 2 week hiatus, but I have been away on vacation and promised myself I wouldn’t bring my laptop so it would be a TRUE vacation…  I am a workaholic, so it’s hard to actually let myself go and do some real relaxing, recharge a bit.  I have been in Miami and on a cruise to the Bahamas with my 2 best friends from home!  It was awesome because we usually only get to see each other once or twice a year, and we try to spend those brief moments in style… Too bad we were in Miami, where everyone dresses in Ed Hardy religiously.  So style was…  lacking to say the least.  You can head over to my myspace if you want to see my vacation photos…  add me as a friend, leave some silly comments!  No creepy stalkers allowed though, kthanks.

Anyway, I’m back, broke and burnt.  Which means I’m looking to pick up some extra cash on the weekends…  so someone should hire me.  I’m looking specifically at anyone related to the Bob Saget Comedy Central Roast that’s happening this weekend.  Hook a sister up, I want to work it!

I was a seat filler for the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson a few years back, and I consider it one of the best nights of my life.  As a seat filler, you basically stand on the side and when someone famous gets up from their table, you rush in and take that seat so the cameras always shoot a full room in wide shots.  I zeroed in on a table with two of my favorite comedians - Dom Irrera and Lewis Black.  I hovered nearby waiting for someone else from their table (some disinterested soap actresses) to get up and powder their noses or check their blackberries or do some coke in the bathroom.  What?  They looked the part.

One of them finally did and I swooped in on the table, my inner comedy nerd squealing with joy over just being NEAR these guys…  They introduced themselves (not like I didn’t already have whole bits of their memorized) and asked where I was from.

“I’m from Maryland, but go to college in Philly.”

Fun fact: Lewis Black is from Silver Spring, MD.  And Dom Irrera is from Philadelphia, PA.  Add to that the fact that I had just finished and LOVED Lewis’ new memoir “Nothing’s Sacred”, and by the time the girl whose seat I was filling came back, she was shoo’ed to another table by my new comedy uncles.  We sat back and riffed on Andy Dick and the other freakshows in front of us, and I have to say, one of the highlights of my life so far is seeing Lewis Black crack up at something I had said.  Nothing is more motivating that knowing that someone whose craft you respect think you’ve got it too.

The Roast ended after 3 hours and I stood up to say goodbye to two of my favorite people, but Dom shook his head and said wait a minute.  He left and came back in a few seconds with 2 passes to the Roast’s afterparty, one for me and one for my friend Meghan who was also seat filling with me.  We all locked arms and headed over to hang out and just shoot the shit for a few hours.

By the end of the night, I had plans the following week to check out Dom doing a set at the Improv and grab dinner to talk comedy.  I got some amazing advice and I don’t think he knows how much that meant, knowing such a prolific comedian would take any kind of notice in me.  I might talk tough guys, but I promise I really don’t have an ego, at all.  I get incredibly insecure because making a living in this crazy world of entertainment is so uncertain and so competitive, but I try to think back on moments like that, where I just KNOW I’m on the right path.

So thanks Pam Anderson, for having boobs that are so big someone spent millions for comedians could make fun of them for 2 hours.

Anyway.  The Bob Saget Roast.  Someone get me in.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen my buddies.  Plus I’d really like to grab Dave Coulier’s ass.

Tags: Filmmaking, Filmmaker, Director, Film, Movie Blog

The First Assistant Director - Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!

One of the cool things about being a top flight, A-tier Assistant Director is the opportunity to meet some of the people who made an enormous impact on your life. Just last week I got to meet one those special someones who played a major role in shaping the …

Tags: Movie Theatre, Movie Blog, Filmmaker, Film Industry, Film Blog

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