The Storyboard Artist - THE KILLER THAT LUCAS CREATED

 Okay, we storyboard artists are a perceptive lot, who call things the way we seem them. We show people the dark underbelly of life that few can stomach, and fewer still have the guts to bring to the light.While working in the three man storyboard dept that is “THE A TEAM” over at building 99 at FOX, Eric, Benton and myself came to the conclusion that Star Wars’ Luke Skywalker was a stone cold blooded killer.Now, please put down the lightsaber and bare with me. This was all figured out while simultaneously drawing action packed sequences for John Singleton, and doing impressions and line readings from both “48 HOURS” and “ENTER THE DRAGON.”  Benton seemingly has the advantage while doing Bruce Lee (as he speaks English and Cantonese as Bruce did), but I still think my Lee is better.Back to Luke, the evidence on Mark Hamill’s most famous character (not counting his voice work voice as “The Joker” on the 1990’s Batman cartoon) is evident in the original STAR WARS.We know that as a farmboy on Tatooine, Luke used to “bullseye Womprats in my T-16 back home.”  So, this kid essentially shot animals for fun from a moving vehicle. I doubt that he ate the Womprats, so this was all for his enjoyment.Luke gets a message from a robot his Uncle Owen bought from scavengers (the company you keep) about a “Princess” being in danger. Hey, as a native New Yorker, I have met many a “Princess”, and they are actually quite resourceful without a man’s help.So, this “farm boy” trespasses on a government sanctioned space station (after being in a shootout in a parking lot) with not one, but two pirates, Han and Chewie. Did I mention the old man who cut off an arm in a bar fight?Once the ship has landed on this space station, a couple of clean up guys (I bet just doing their jobs and they probably had kids) walk up the entry plank to the Millennium Falcon.  We then hear blaster fire right afterwards.What do you think happened to them?  I’ll tell you.  Those poor unarmed men were executed, that’s what.Luke and his criminal friends (whom he met that bar, where the shorter one killed a guy/Greedo – and no George, Greedo did NOT shoot first) break into a jail. Then, they start to shoot the guards. Just shot them down cold and had the nerve to steal and then wear their uniforms. The horror! And…gross!!  What kind of sick fetsh is that??After the old man is killed by his former student (who worked for the government) Luke goes crazy and starts killing more government officers!!  He only stops when he hears the “voice” of the old guy that just got killed! Coo-coooooo.By the way, didn’t that old guy Obi Wan age really, really badly? He was premature gray in his mid-thirties when he let his “friend” Anakin catch fire next to a lava river (were he left him to die, btw) spends twenty years in exile, and ends up looking seventy.Anyway, Luke makes a getaway in the “Pirate ship” where he yells “I got ‘im, I got ‘im” after happily blowing up a government pilot.  Even if the so called Empire was still using clones, that clone pilot may have had dog at home, to say the least.Luke and the other malcontents known as “The Rebels” then come back to the space station with a small fleet where ca-razzzzy Luke kills some more government pilots, before hearing voices once again, then blows up the entire space station with a torpedo ( who designed that station?) which took with it thousands of more people.Luke later goes on to destroy more government property, find out some unpleasant family secrets, corrupt a tribe of teddy bears and kiss his sister.Couldn’t Luke have at least vented his rage on finding and killing a older but still inane Jar Jar Binks???I’m just  saying.