The Genre Director - Prosthetic effects for film

INTERIOR. ANIMATOR’S OFFICE - NIGHT

The Animator, on his 33rd straight hour, is slumped in his chair in front of the computer screen. Deep in REM sleep, 8 Redbulls notwithstanding. His dream of playing Frisbee in the park with his dog is interrupted by an old nightmare. His dog morphs into the Tyrannosaurus he animated months ago for the Sci-Fi Channel Original AZTEC REX.

AZTEC REX
Hey, dickhead. Wake up, you’ve got a deadline.

 

ANIMATOR
Don’t bother me. You’re done. You went to air on Saturday.

 

AZTEC REX
How did we rate?

ANIMATOR
The executive producer promised to tell us last Monday.
We’re still waiting.

 

AZTEC REX
How was the promo?

 

ANIMATOR
They ran it a lot…could have been more exciting.
Could have had some of the juicy bits in it.

 

AZTEC REX
I like juicy bits. Helps me be patient during the talky bits.
Did they like the bit where I gobbled up Marc Antonio…
And his guts fell in a heap on the sand…followed by
his shredded torso…That was cool, man!

The T-REX starts to salivate.

ANIMATOR
(to himself)
My reptilian brain is really active tonight.
Must cut out red meat…Seriously.

 

AZTEC REX
So what’s the buzz?

 

ANIMATOR
Overall, people thought it was fun and way above average.
Of course there were the usual self important IMDB snarks
with no understanding of the business of film -
“ the worst picture ever” brigade - I mean,
what sorry excuse for a human being posts
“She’s sour face ugly” about an actress?

 

AZTEC REX
Misogynists. Chronic masturbators with bad eyesight.

 

ANIMATOR
There was a lot of response to the Aaargh!! moments.
E’s The Soup people got it. It’s on U Tube.
Though they left the best chomping shot out.
Their piece was nice!

AZTEC REX
( gobbling a passing skateboarder)
I gotta admit I can’t take all the credit for that.
Those prosthetics wounds were great!

***********

Yes, Bryan Furer’ s prosthetic effects were great under any circumstances, let alone on a make-up budget best described as the smell of an oil rag. And Bryan ran the make-up and hair department at the same time. The number of Conquistadors and Aztecs we could have on the screen was limited by the cost and time frame required to deliver body painted natives and wigged Spaniards to the set. But delivered they were, which is what a director under the gun every day needs.

But the prosthetics guy gets his ration of Acute Pressure, when he has to set up and execute a gore shot with everyone looking at their watch. The effect has to be tuned to the camera angle the director has chosen, which, if the director is sensible, he has selected in consultation with the prosthetic artist at the planning stage. In other words, if the shot works best in profile, don’t change it to three quarter profile on the day just because the camera guy says the background is better, causing blood tubes or prosthetics personnel to have to be hidden unexpectedly. (“ I have to be here because the tube is only three foot long.” etc.) Been there, done that.

I love what Bryan Furer did for the post-bite dying Mendoza, which strongly supported a wonderful death speech by Will Snow.

When we shot the Aztec guard in the throat with a crossbow bolt, it’s a pity it had to be a night scene, which, on our budget and schedule we had to shoot at magic hour, because some of Bryan’s detail work was lost in the gloom.

It also helps to have a patient and co-operative actor, particularly when he has to lose his leg. Shawn Lathrop, seen here waiting patiently, was a real trooper through the lengthy set-up process. By the time his real leg was buried, a real - therefore heavy - rock placed over it, his prosthetic limb positioned on top, the tubes hooked up to the blood pump, we only had enough light for two takes of what I had always conceived as one shot. It was to deliver the audience both an Arrgh! moment and a black hearted laugh.

Start on Alvarado’s sleeping face. We hear crunching sounds. The sleep deprived man groggily wakes up, as the camera dollies back, unaware of what is happening. He looks down just as the camera reveals the chewed off stump spurting blood. ( I know, I am a sick puppy.) Then the pain kicks in and he screams. Contrary to one critic, there is medical precedent for this delayed response. Besides, that’s the joke, madam. Gets a big laugh.

( Perhaps you don’t yet truly understand the genre you presume to judge.) And the pay-off is that the Christian Imperialist Alvarado, when seeing the creature eating his leg, thrusts his rosary into the lens as defense. Gets a bonus wry smile from the cognoscenti.

Time paradox genre cocktails like AZTEC REX are inevitably in the category of Absurdist Drama. The best approach to that kind of material is play it straight with a wry undertone. The campiness will take care of itself.

I been wanting to make this kind of genre cocktail since working on Ray Harryhausen’s VALLEY OF GWANGI and Hammer’s WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH ( Or, what we called it: When Diana Dors Ruled The Earth. UK geezers might remember.)

Absurdist Drama entertains a lot of people.

If you want some undemanding Thud and Blunder, Sci- Fi will be repeating it. Check your local listings. It’s my Hammer style Saturday Matinee shoestring spectacular. I wince at a few things, but I’m proud of the result for the price. It’s a pity we only had 900K below the line, but hell, I’m a cup half full kind of film maker. It’s really the only way to be.